Allocation Moneyball as TFC hires new GM

Tim Bezbatchenko

Toronto FC has got their man. Again.

Not realizing that their Twitter hashtag #TFCMajorAnnouncement has become a parody-inducing thing of ridicule, The Reds gathered the local press for their annual catch-and-release of their new front office supremo. But who you ask could fill the shoes of Toronto legends like Kevin Payne, Aron Winter and Mo Johnston... why it's none other than child prodigy Tim Bezbatchenko!

Crickets.

Before you start getting your TFC-brand knickers (Available at RealSports for $34.99) in a twist, this is not a GM-signing like those in the past or akin to GM's in other North American sports. Bezbatchenko, most recently the MLS Director of Player Relations and Competition, is a numbers wonk. A man brought in to hopefully find every single loophole and crevasse that the league's labyrinth of salary rules has hidden in its belly-button.

In this brave new world, player targets seem to be firmly in the control of Ryan Nelsen, who in turn seems firmly controlled by Tim Leiweke. You would assume that Nelsen will identify reasonable targets that T-Bez (we're lazy, get used to it) will try to financially wangle while Leiweke aims to reel in the big fish like his horrendous hint dropping at a private meeting that he is looking at (gulp) Emmanuel Adebayor. Euthanize me now.

In the end, we will probably not see T-Bez in the spotlight like previous GM's but rather like a glorified Earl Cochrane. In theory, the set-up seems alright but when you consider a rookie head coach will identify players to a rookie GM all under the umbrella of a monorail salesman - it all gets very TFC.

One question that remained understandably unanswered today: When Leiweke's magical DP's don't arrive until August and TFC finds itself 2-10 in the summer forcing the dismissal of Ryan Nelsen (don't pretend it can't happen!!!) who is left to identify players? Something tells us that you should save up your best #TFCMajorAnnouncement gags for a rainy day in the not-too-distant future.