THE SOUTH STAND REPORT : Toronto v Montreal... or I'll Do My Crying In The Rain

Due to his game show winnings on Wednesday night, @ignirtoq decided to outsource his match report duties to China as his ego has clearly got to him.  Seriously, it was $8800 before you get taxed?!?! ~ ed.

In English via Chinese and back to English via computerz:

Wow, the weather is so depressing. Wind, rain and cold. This may be the only appropriate way to end the season at Toronto FC. I'm sure people think that this schedule will be very wonderful drama. Two regional rivals faced a death playoff at the position this season. However, it went exactly as it should have: Toronto mediocre, almost no threat, Montreal punching well above their weight did not pull pork muscle structure with the specified player (designated player.  Wait is this a Koevermans joke? ~ Ed.).

If Houston and Philadelphia won their games, Montreal lost against the Raptors, then the impact will be just sitting through the worst case, they will end the season. Any other result will see them later in the season as the sole representative of Canada.

Toronto through the motions. Figuring out whether they should sell their apartments and plans to find a NASL / USL-PRO / Danish second division club next season. Consider abandoning this coaching career, only to play New Zealand men's national team. Unfortunately, starting a sadness blog is entirely in Spanish. So many career decisions.

In the game!

6 ' - you know, it is damn cold and it has been raining on and off , but it takes too windy ? ? What Fagundez is ... (Fagundez is a new cuss word on the terrace.  Not because he's good, but because it sounds like it ~ Ed.)

15 ' - TARGET -  Osorio needs first shot , but Earnshaw put his foot in it to redirect the ball past the keeper
ROBINS 1, CHEESE 0

33 ' - Somehow Earnshaw and dikes behind the defense , but one after the other . Earnshaw tried chip goalkeeper 15 yards , but can not beat the keeper . They should have done better.

34 ' - Osorio trying to make a great goalkeeper stopped

38 ' - Baker let one fly past the keeper , but the nail cross bar . Unfortunate.

Half time: Bon Jovi's banner at the Air Canada Centre, announced brass decided that it would be appropriate to honor the Norwegian big band a-ha on Wall of Honor

 

Is the sun, I feel it ?

53 ' - Arnold got the ball down the left side , lost his marker, but , Bendik make a huge save .

62 ' - Arnaud broken wings and chips low cross into the net, find Di Vaio 's left arm and deflected . Di Vaio linesman officials complain that he has the right to cheat as much as Theirry Henry is really no goal. No dice .

73'- SMALL - Rey to serve Jeremyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy Hall *woof*woof*woof*woof*

81 ' - Corner Perkins punch fails, Caldwell, who beat the keeper at the foot of the land, but not Bernardello sit on the line to clear it.

84'- SMALL - Dicko to change Braun. Also, I feel like I've just been slapped in the mouth, as I should think it is a good idea. (Ooooh, you were angry.  This translation is quality! Apparently "Dike" comes through as "Dicko" ~ Ed.)

Quote of the game

I've seen more hustle in senior's Zumba

~ Tony, Zumba aficionado

87 ' - Mapp ball over the top saw Romero in goal, Super Pickle Joe Bendik stopped cold . Just amazing.

89'- SMALL - Agbossoumonde help run out the clock, Earnshaw

Time : TORONTO 1, MONTREAL 0

Man of the Match : Joe Bendik tied his cloak around the target area, including several balls are not anywhere near the goal and flew, but we found interesting.

Goat Game : Nobody.

Judge Level : 3 out of 5. Although we are certain chaired terrible in this league caliber certainly Montreal at least a draw, they persevered, and called a balanced game.

Shirts Identification : Saw Everton, but everyone in the cloak. So, by default, Everton wins. No, Darlington Tooker do not count.

I am not a gaffer, but ...: Is anyone in the stadium, on the pitch or follow them warm, dry homes, Braun was seriously do? He had the opportunity, he should never see the first team on the court, unless his request, in order to help bring players Gatorade. Another defender or midfielder, instead.

Team Score : Bendik 7.5, Morgan 6.5, Henry 6.5, Caldwell 7, Bloom 6.5, Convey 6, Bekker 6.5, Osorio 6.5, Rey 6 [Hall N/A], Earnshaw 6.5 [Agbossoumonde N/A], Dike 7 [Braun N/A]

And now, praise to a-ha. No, it is not Take On Me.

@ignirtoq promises that he did outsource this to China and did not enter each entry into Google Translate only to have it retranslate it back into English for comedic effect. Also, SpinOff, Wednesday's at 8pm, only on CHCH!