THE STARTING 11: Things that happened during Toronto FC's Thanksgiving team dinner

You can taste the Istanbul!



Happy Turkey Day gang! Leaves have changed, pumpkins have ripened into Starbucks drinks, cranberry gloop has gloopened out of tins, all whilst families gather across this great land. Today we celebrate the first Canadian harvest back in 1288 AD under Turkish warlord Hakan the Hirsute and the Ottoman legacy of which our northern tundra was founded. I had a severe drinking problem during Grade 10 Canadian History. Enough about me though - another "family" of sorts that came together for a slap-up meal are our very own #TFCfamily (I feel dirty) - that hilarious comedy troupe/ football team, Toronto FC. Oh to be a fly on their table this weekend...

11. The bread rolls turned out to be slightly stale - Ryan Nelsen immediately blamed referees

10. A perfectly good dish was given away to another family to make space for a whole bunch of new dishes that were supposed to arrive to take its place.

9. Jimmy Brennan named new Head Chef

8. Everyone was asked to block Collin Samuel's phone number for the duration of the meal

7. People kept asking if "anyone had seen Bitchy the Hawk recently?"

6. Tim Leiweke kept apologizing during dinner and promising that next year's meal would be so much better after he acquired two expensive side dishes.

5. Justin Braun asked Reggie Lambe to pass him the gravy - disaster ensued

4. Tim Bezbatchenko spent entire meal on the phone desperately trying to trade 11 useless giblets for a couple of decent wings

3. Danny Koevermans injured himself on pie

2. Someone found a lame duck - immediately signed it to a lucrative 4-year DP contract

1. Everyone was simply content to watch a different bunch of turkeys get stuffed for once


And now ladies and gentleman... The Ode to the Great Canadian Poultry War of 1579... 



HAPPY T'GIVES Y'ALL! ALL HAIL HAKAN THE HIRSUTE!