THE MATCHUP: Requiem for a Goalblerone

Bye, bye mon Swiss cowboy

 

CHICAGO VS. TORONTO

TOYOTA PARK - SATURDAY 8:30PM ET

TV: TSN 2

THE KICKABOUT:

Yo Scottie! Run the triangle! (What's up Chicago?)

Ah the cherished late-season role of "spoiler". The solace of the eternal underachiever. "If we can't have nice things then why should you?!" Then you blow a raspberry. The question is: how can something like TFC that is long spoilt (in the sell-by-date sense) truly be handed such responsibility? Let's face it, TFC couldn't be put in charge of spoiling milk in the midday sun. So, let's just let American Toronto get on with their business of suckling from the teet of MLS playoffs while Canadian Chicago looks forward to 2015 when our shiny new DP's turn 33.

The only notable thing in this match is of course the likely farewell to TFC stalwart and all-round quality chap, Stefan Frei. After an awful season that saw him rooted to the bench, Frei gets the start over the suspended Super Pickle. While in theory, Ryan Nelsen could do the right thing and let him start at home next week - he probably won't. Which is a high-end douche move. So we say farewell to Frei on TV, not fitting for a good TFC soldier. Is he better than Joe Bendik? We think so yes. Is he better on $200K? Nope... and that's why we say auf Wiedersehen to The Goalblerone.

MANUFACTURED DERBY NAME:

The Stefan Frei Testimonial Match

PLAYERS TO WATCH:

CHICAGO: Jalil Anibaba, Mike "Tits" Magee, Patrick Nyarko

TORONTO: Stefan Frei. That's all.

THE ODDS:

Stefan Frei post-match remarks:

- "It's been an honour to play for Toronto FC": 500-1

- "I will miss the fans and my teammates": 100-1

-"Hey Nelsen, good luck with this shitshow you Kiwi bastard": 2-1

WHO ARE YA?

In our quest to help you learn more about our MLS opponents we thought we would pass on some internet research we did on Chicago Fire. Here is what we found:

Chicago Fire is an American television drama that airs on NBC on Wednesdays at 10:00 pm EST/9:00 p.m. CST during the 2012–13 television season. Created by Michael Brandt and Derek Haas and produced by Law & Order creator Dick Wolf, the show follows the lives of the firefighters and paramedics working at the Chicago Fire Department at the firehouse of Engine 51, Truck 81, Squad 3, Ambulance 61 and Battalion 25. The firehouse shown is Engine 18's Quarters located at 1360 S. Blue Island Ave. between 13th & Racine. The series premiered on October 10, 2012. The pilot episode had an early release at NBC.com, before the series' premiere on television.

　

On April 26, 2013, NBC renewed Chicago Fire for a second season, and moved its time slot to Tuesdays at 10:00 pm. EST. The season debuted on September 24, 2013.

(Ed. ~ Wikipedia you tricky son of a bitch.)

POST-MATCH HEADLINE:
"DANKE IHNEN HERR FREI"

And... Since it's our last chance to hit the scene shootin' jumpers - STEVE KERR - and we are officially the riff raff of MLS...