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Friday, January 31, 2014

THE SOUTH STAND REPORT - Toronto v Orlando... or What do you mean goaltending is illegal?!?

As a season ticket holder of Toronto FC, I have been afforded many privileges: Embarrassing officiating, failure at understanding why de Guzman was a big deal, and being told to get used to it, to name a few. Last night, another perk fell into my lap, tickets to see a professional basketball contest.

I was assured that this basketball was the best Toronto has to offer, and if I know anything about "the sports", the local sides have a history of lastminutedisappointus which isn't contagious.

On to the match:

1' - GOAL - Toronto hits a long range effort that evades all defenders and finds its way into the net

1' - GOAL - What resilience! Orlando immediately marches up the pitch and pulls a goal of their own right back. Tiki-taka stuff that left the defenders wrong footed.

2' - GOAL - We're in for a classic! When play resumes, Toronto runs right through the defense and after the first attempt hit the woodwork, another Robin was there for the tap in.

5' - GOAL - This is just absurd right now. As I was writing down what happened, more goals were pouring in.

OK, my hand hurts. This is stupid. How does anyone write a proper match report for this bouncy netball?

Half Time : Toronto 55, Orlando 40  Mood: Understanding it.

34’ - GOAL - Amongst other things, this one was remarkable as Lowry sends up a huge high cross right into the penalty area and Ross is there to slam it home. Fantastic stuff.

39’ - OK seriously ref, that one guy has fouled just about everyone in the last few minutes and you’re not even going to book him? At least their gaffer would be wise to sub him off.

Basketrugby is a funny game. No seriously, it's f***ing weird.

Apparently if the Robins score 100 points or more, everyone in attendance gets free pizza. 2:30 remaining. This is good as done.

46' - um... ok, next possession.

47' - two misses. Oh well, there's injury time. Can't seem to find the 4th official’s signage. #PanicBall?

48' - another near attempt. Still at 98 points.


Full Time: Toronto 98, Orlando 83

Man of the Match: This Lowry kid has the presence of a Laba and creativity of Osorio, but I'm gonna give it to Valanciunas. He blocked a pile of shots, wasn't afraid to get up the pitch and contribute. Second and third efforts were rewarded and stood his ground. Young defenders can learn plenty from this leader.

Goat of the Game  I didn't understand why the manager put the reserves out there at the end denying the faithful a piece of well earned pizza.

Ref Rating: 5 out of 5. No blown calls, no favoring the visitors, no blown tackles.

I Am Not The Gaffer But: how do you manage when you can make so many substitutions? It seems so schizophrenic.

Crowd seemed genuinely interested in the game until the one drunkard tried fifteen times to start a wave. Sadly he succeeded... As a fan of team sports, I was pleasantly surprised how well the Raptors played. It’s not like we have a precedence of how egos ruin a team... It doesn’t get said often enough at the field, but it needs to be said that the ACC staff, as well, are awesome... I saw really nice Raptors scarves worn by some of the fans but didn’t see it in the store... I thought I recognized Neymar’s mom in the crowd tonight but then I realized I don’t know what she looks like... Damn, is it footy season yet?

Player Ratings : Ross 7, Johnson 6.5, Valanciunas 8, Lowry 8, Vasquez 7, Salmons 6, Hayes 6, Novak 6.5, Stone N/A, Hansbrough N/A

@ignirtoq knows the hooperjamball. As a kid, he supported the Utah Jazz and though he checks the standings to see how they’re doing, it’s always with fond memories of Stockton-to-Malone. And fuck Michael Jordan and his damn “fever” story. He should’ve learned to share some NBA championships with other teams just as he did for Pippen, carrying him his whole career.

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