THE MATCHUP: Friday Night Blights

#Hamstrong

 

SPORTING KC VS. TORONTO FC
SPORTING PARK - FRIDAY 8:30PM ET
TV: TSN

WHY SHOULD I WATCH THIS?
- Can TFC knock off two "Beats of the East" in a row?
- Just how depleted will Sporting's defence actually be?
- Will vengeful Jermain Defoe still be a thing?
- Does Ryan Nelsen choose to rest any starters with the Canadian Championship Final 1st Leg next Wednesday?
- When will the wild success of re-branded Sporting KC lead to another heartland MLS franchise in the form of Boise Benfica?

MANUFACTURED DERBY NAME:
"El Churrasco"

THE DUEL:
Dom Dwyer vs. Jermain Defoe

WHO ARE YA?
After the Lance Armstrong backed Livestrong foundation lost favour post-doping crisis, Sporting Kansas City pulled the name "Livestrong Park" as their ground's title. This of course leaves a gaping hole in the MLS/charity community but one that TFC has decided to fill.

With their rash of one particular injury, The Reds will begin selling rubber wristbands to combat the silent killer: hamstrings. Instead of the Livestrong yellow, TFC's #Hamstrong wristbands will be bacon streak coloured and are guaranteed not to snap for 6-8 weeks.

ON THIS DAY IN TFC HISTORY:
MAY 23, 2011: Panic ensued on TFC's flight back from Colorado when flight crew believed that defender Adrian Cann had dynamite hidden under his shirt. It was resolved when Cann proved that the only "dynamite" he was packing were his fourteen ab muscles. 

 

Fagundez!

VOCAL MINORITY PODCAST: #Nelsenbating
Do you find yourself saying "I like reading this slightly football-related stupidity but boy do I wish I could stick it in my earhole"? Well now you can!

In this week's episode, The Yorkies' Mark leaves the The Yorkies' Tony all alone to face the Waking The Red duo Duncan and Kristin. There's less singing but way more swearing; Kristin makes an impossible bet with another TFC podcast; Tony shakes his fist at an Arsenal-shaped cloud and we all give generously to the "Carl Robinson Kids' Appeal".

Just click on the "Vocal Minority Podcast" icon on the right side of this site and get ready to be unmazed! FAGUNDEZ!

While you’re at it – you should really visit Waking The Red (In our Links Section). They actually write serious TFC stuff. Yeah… we don’t know why either but it’s so choice. DOUBLE FAGUNDEZ!