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Monday, May 19, 2014

THE STARTING 11: Rejected Toronto FC Victoria Day events

"Leave one alone Jermain!"

The best thing about long weekend Mondays is that there are no TFC fixtures scheduled. You see, if there were a match, TFC would have found a way to pimp out Queen Victoria and her 19th Century hotness all in the name of cross-promotions. While we will still have to sit through the club pandering to every cultural group in Toronto and the King Club Patio (Hell's Official Party Zone!) will rock on unabated, at least TFC didn't get to roll out these potential Victoria Day doozys...

11. Tim Leiweke and Tim Bezbatchenko strolling around BMO Field twirling 1800's moustaches

10. Jackson legally changing name to Victoria Jackson

9. A high-priced friendly vs. Viktoria Plzen

8. Rolling back ticket prices to 1897 levels

7. Statement by Issey Nakajima-Farran claiming "He is not amused"

6. Doneil Henry tackling a statue of Queen Victoria from behind

5. BMO Field PA system only playing music from Victoria Beckham's 2001 solo album "Victoria Beckham"

4. Heavy coarse wool Victorian-era retro kits

3. Fireworks released every time Gilberto nearly almost scores

2. Jermain Defoe "coronates" a bunch of girls named Vicky

1. Vitchy the Hawk

1 comment:

  1. Just wanted to point out that this Queen Victoria was married to her 1st cousin!!! They had (reportedly) 12 kids, and only 3 were ever presented to the public ... for obvious reasons. Once her husband passed away, she spent some 40 years as a recluse, never emerging from her palace. Yay!! Fireworks anyone???