Filibusted

D.C. UNITED VS. TORONTO FC
RFK STADIUM

Due to technical difficulties/those fat cats down in the capital, THE MATCHUP did not appear prior to this match. The Yorkies apologize for this indiscretion and have written a terse letter to all applicable MP's, MPP's, Senators, House Members, Whigs, Politburos, policy wonks and both right-wing and socialist lobbyists to rectify this misdeed. Regular programming will return tomorrow.

We are The Yorkies and we approve this message.

TOO LATE TO BE "THE MATCHUP"

MANUFACTURED DERBY NAME:
"The Crack Mayor Derby"

A few facts* and stats** we missed pre-match:
- Washington D.C. and Toronto shared this year's United Nations prize for "Big Dumb City Most Likely to Re-Elect a Crackhead Mayor"
- 372: Number of matches worldwide today between a "United" and a plain old "FC"
- 1: Letter left off a D.C. United supporter’s tifo to make it awesomely read "CREAMING EAGLES"
- 18: Number of years D.C. has been rocking MLS' most righteous kit.


* Maybe; **Possibly

NOT NECESSARILY "AFTER 90"

FINAL SCORE: D.C. UNITED 3 - TORONTO FC 0

THE YORKIES' TFC MAN OF THE MATCH:
Too fugly. Everyone gets the goat.