Out mit the alt, in mit the neu

No Pat... we said "Young DP"



You can take his face off of the sides of those milk cartons - Kevin Payne was not missing after all. On the heels of Torsten Frings' almost emotional and extremely classy goodbye to TFC, the club president was finally forced to update his very concerned fan base about the lack of incoming players. With two DP's down and a preseason roster still mostly filled with Academy prospects, draft picks and trialists, Payne attempted to assuage an increasingly angered mob before torches were lit.
　
The "potential" additions to the club include:
- Hogan Ephraim: the 24-year-old winger and sometime striker is apparently an "imminent" (you've heard that somewhere before) signing on a loan deal from his parent club Queen's Park Rangers. The Iron Sheik has gone on the record saying "The Hogan has the raisinballs" so Payne may want to re-consider.
- John Bostock: Yes, he of the angry father calling TalkSport radio to call out Harry Redknapp, is on trial after failing to garner interest from San Jose Earthquakes. The 21-year-old was once touted as a future England international attacking mid but has seen his career stutter after numerous loan failures and rumours of a shoddy work-ethic and questionable attitude. Potential signing would again be on a loan basis from Tottenham.
- Robert Earnshaw: the very experienced 31-year-old Welsh international striker is flying into Toronto tonight to "take a look" at the club and vice-versa. With many years spent in the English Championship at such clubs as Derby County, Nottingham Forest (he's a Welsh Clough) and Norwich City, he could be the kind of goal scorer that would work under Ryan Nelsen's system. Would have to put this one at 50/50 at best for the moment.
- Two Hondurans and a microphone: Where's it at? Apologies to Beck but TFC ("I'm a loser baby") apparently have two players from the Central American nation on their radar. The club has been linked with a few Hondurans this spring so take your pick from Alfredo Mejia, Arnold Peralta, Rommel Quioto and numerous other random Tegucigalpans.
- An Argentine DP: this was the one that came out of left-field. Payne has dispatched Head Scout Pat Onstad down to work on his tango and take a look at a player who would be a "young DP". Which is apparently not the same thing as Young MC. The yet unnamed striker would be a big addition talent-wise (you would imagine) but as per all of the above moves - would be a loan signing. Bust a move already.
- Coming soon: in post-conference interviews Payne lamented the short period of time he has had to re-tool The Reds but told fans to expect a few changes in the first couple of months of the season.
　
While updating the fans on these potential moves is a welcome positive, it will be at the new regime's peril if most of these official "rumours" don't pan out. Yes, deals fall through every day in the world of football but with four days remaining before First Kick, TFC supporter patience, rightly or wrongly, is as thin as the roster.

UPDATE: Our colleague and pal from Waking The Red, Kristin Knowles (@kzknowles on teh twitterz) has been doing yeoman's schmoozing work at the TFC Launch Party tonight and has managed to get word out that The Reds have apparently made a few signings. Supplemental Draft Pick (and our very own Peter Crouch-esque striker) Taylor Morgan, QPR-owned winger Hogan Ephraim and (most likely) Academy product Jonathan Osorio have joined the club.

Now seriously TFC, time to do this...

LETTERS FROM CAMP: Fring the bell?

He's the new "Grumpy Cat"



DOWN AND ALMOST OUT?
He came into camp seemingly "close" to being ready; he played for around 20 minutes in TFC's first spring friendly; he suddenly returned to Toronto for mysterious "personal reasons"; today, word is emerging that he is at least 2 months away from fitness and that even more dramatically - he may be on the verge of having his TFC career ended. Yes, it seems like the stern captain of TFC, Torsten Frings, could very well be at the final exit of his Canadian autobahn.

If the once-brilliant midfield general isn't likely to play a role for TFC until May or June it is safe to assume that Kevin Payne (if he isn't still missing) will do what he can to end the German's DP contract before the beginning of the regular season. It would be a sad end for a classy player and not the way Reds supporters would have wanted him to go out but a cold and calculated move may be what offers TFC the best manoeuvrability going forward. If the end of Frings really is nigh, Toronto fans can be comforted that one of the best midfielders of the last 20 years played here, but saddened that we never saw him close to his best. More to surely come.
　
THE LOAN ARRANGER?
Does Kevin Payne want to buy your gold, silver and unwanted jewellery? No. But, he may be trying to pad out the paper-thin roster with a couple of loan signings just a week before the season begins. The woefully attack-free Reds possibly have their non-transfer eyeballs on two attackers - QPR-product Hogan "The Raisinballs" Ephraim and Honduran, Romell "The Latino Fox" Quioto.
　
The Ephraim rumour was started when the player himself hashtagged the word #Toronto on his Twitter account and seemed to engage in a little football career talk with a friend. It could however have some extra legs due to his QPRness which he shares with TFC's new manager Ryan Nelsen.

#Toronto
— Hogan Ephraim (@HoganEphraim) February 21, 2013

If simply hashtagging something makes it happen, here goes: #SexyBillionaireAstronaut
　
The Quioto re-rumour is not the first time that his name has been attached to Toronto this spring. The update, appearing in Central American football press, may be nothing more than the ramblings of C.D. Vida President and professional hint-dropper Carla Dip who seems to think that transfers are completed by announcing them on Honduran internet machines.
　
THIS $12 BUD'S FOR YOU
Terrible beer news: have you hated paying through the nose at BMO Field for stale Carlsberg for the last six years? Not to fear, even staler-er Budweiser will now be on tap instead! Marf. (Mouth + Barf = Marf) This original deal was worked out last autumn but has been expanded to incorporate a whole spectrum of annoying promotions. To poorly paraphrase Monty Python: "Why is drinking a pint at BMO Field like sex in a canoe? It's fucking close to water"