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Monday, April 28, 2008

Match Report: Kansas City Wizards @ TFC


Delerious. Just delerious. We here, in mid-113, are not accustomed to this position. Oh sure, we're only in our second year as a side, but as far as successful footie in Toronto, it's been a while. And it is too good to be true, without a doubt. The euphoric high that our seemingly feeble side has achieve so soon is amazing.

A two-game win-streak. That's all that it takes to make the entire south stands beam wih hope. Imagine what a three-game win-streak could do.

Kansas City come into the game 3-1-1 and are on game two of a six game road swing since the primary tenant at their stadium, the Kansas City T-Bones, are apparently reclaiming their home ground for the baseball season. TFC are 2-2 who have displayed shades of embarassing to pallets of magic during these 4 games. Expectations are running cautiously high. I mean, it's TFC. Toronto FC. Or as some educated idiots who think they're really clever, "The FC's". We've seen flashes of brilliance, but that's long enough to take a picture. Right now, we're basking in the sun... I hope we don't get burned.

Enough of the silly light metaphors, it's 3:30 kick-off and Dorothy FC have come to town looking for a hand-crafted beating. Let the games begin... Pre-kick off, quote of the game : "What the hell is up with BMO? Everywhere is smells like souvlaki." Brilliant.

2 - Guevera (¡VIVA LA REVOLUCION!) beats his defender and causes Hartmann to make a very amazing diving save to stop it.

6 - "This is our house", "You gotta ball park!"

8 - Olé string of passes. I swear, I'm dreaming.

10 - Robert floated a gorgeous ball right across the field onto the foot of Ricketts. I wanted to marry that ball, it was that beautiful.

14 - I've discovered the score of the Man Utd. v Chelsea match. Not happy.

19 - Dichio gets a ball fed into him 8 yards out, no man on him and he skies it over the bar. Rough, given he had time to settle it.

20 - Surprisingly, the ref is giving us some calls. Surely, he will be fired.

22 - Dichio flicks a header onto Robert, Robert takes it into the box, cuts in, lays the ball off for Marvell Wynne who JUST misses an open net. Resulting corner, Robert appears to get a header from the ensuing kick sees his effort cleared off the line.

24 - Dorothy FC's Jewsbury skids a ball across the carpet that Sutton has to kinda sorta work for. Nice to see them trying.

26 - Ball arced in, Robert can't quite get to it to convert.

27 - "Stand up for the TFC" chant is the worst chant we've got, hands down. 99% of the crowd doesn't realize that it's to the tune of 'Go West'. Two out of two Pet Shop Boys would agree.

28 - The turf is a mess from the kick-off confetti. I'd hate to be the poor bastard that has to vacuum that.

29 - Dorothy FC's Espinosa tries to introduce the ball to Lakeshore Blvd. He failed at that too.

30 - "Toto" Lopez couldn't beat one of our defenders if he had a bat in his hand. Wynne makes him look amateur.

32 - Zavagnin, Lopez, Espinosa, Trujillo and Morsink all fail at shots in the box. Sutton must be bored because he didn't have to stop a single one of those chances. I said 5 shots in the box and none of them were touched by the keeper. The tin man and the scarecrow would've at least hit the bar. Lion would've booted it back to his keeper.

33 - Like every other player who's played here, he can't get past the fact that not only that there are fans, but they give a shit about the game. Ensuing kick, streamers in his way and all, ends up at Trujillo's head and lays it perfectly into the hands of Sutton. Even Bitchy the Falcon atop of the main stand is working harder than our keeper.

34 - Robinson fights off defenders and lays the ball to Guevera (¡VIVA LA REVOLUCION!), only to shoot from just outside the edge of box and have it sail one yard wide of the net. Crazy stuff.

35 - Kansas City are getting the boots put to them. Pathetic. Don't they know who we are? (sorry, I'm still in disbelief and Toronto are playing LIVE in front of me and looking amazing)

37 - Kansas City player hits the turf due to playing for Kansas City, Robinson moves the ball up to cross it into where Dichio should've been but was 5 steps behind the play. If Dichio was 5 steps faster, he'd have 18 goals by now. He'd have a hat trick by now.

39 - Guevera (¡VIVA LA REVOLUCION!) has NO QUIT in him. What was he doing in Honduras for that long and where was he last year? Unbelievable.

43 - Espinosa fails at another cross.

45 - Dichio scores a goal, but he was a yard off-side... called off.

Half-time emotion : optimistic. Other suggestions : crunk, pathetic. I'm assuming for KC.

We were informed by Harry Wetnap during a half-time phone call that Major League Soccer's Kansas City Wizards are the second fiddle team to the independent minor league baseball's Kansas City T-Bones. Bobby Lenarduzzi is complaining about the dangers of streamers.

47 - Hartmann bobbled a ball but nothing doing.

49 - Kansas City appears to be threatening TFC goal. We'll believe it when it happens.

51 - The Toronto Transit Commission gets a song. Not a flattering one either.

56 - GOAL - Guevera (¡VIVA LA REVOLUCION!) buries the ball into the back of the net by chipping Hartmann.

57 - Dichio lays a ball off for Edu couldn't quite get to it. Guevera (¡VIVA LA REVOLUCION!) is the frontrunner for man of the match.

61 - Kansas make two subs like it matters. We break out a song about how we're gonna win the league. Seriously, we're delerious.

64 - Sutton is forced to make a save by moving two steps to his left. He's having a boring game.

65 - Wee Jimmy B gets a song.

67 - SUB - Cunningham in for Dichio. Danny's had a rough game and Cunningham is more suited for the way the flow of the game is being played.

69 - Corner, where Sutton makes a giant save. Best chance of either side somehow comes from faux Chelsea. KC looks like TFC circa 2007.

70 - Hartmann made friends with a streamer that was wrapped around his arm. Touching and tender moments between two seemingly inanimate objects.

77 - Ricketts gets hauled down 5 yds outside of the box, free kick from Guevera (¡VIVA LA REVOLUCION!) hooks it into the back of the net.

78 - We're starting to believe this whole "we're gonna win the league" crap, just a little.

79 - SUB - Dunnivant in for Ricketts. We start hating on Hartmann. "Couldn't stop a beach ball" *clap*clap*clap-clap-clap*

84 - KC almost conceded a sweet own goal. Would've been too poetic for words.

85 - SUB - Jarrod Smith in for... um... someone.

86 - Some of the east siders wanna leave a few minutes early to beat the traffic. These are Leaf fans looking for a summer hobby.

87 - Smith makes a maurading run down the right side of the field and gets nowhere. Talk about fresh legs, the kid can move. He's a late game breaker, that's for sure.

89 - Dorothy FC in one word : anemic.

91 - Harry Wetnap was calling because he was missing a helluva party.

92 - Cunningham gets hauled down in the box and the ref decides to have mercy on a Kansas City team that deserves a worse result than they are experiencing.


Thumbs up : We're on a three game winning streak.

Thumbs down : We're playing New York Extreme Beverage next.

Man of the match : Guevera (¡VIVA LA REVOLUCION!) (9.5/10) in a no brainer. He's everywhere for the first 60-70 minutes, then loses a few steps in his game, but still trying and working hard. And his two goals were magic.

Goat : I hate to out the big man, but if I gotta single someone out for a weak game, Dichio was right off. I know as a big centre forward, his job is to get stuck in the middle, fight for space when he gets the ball and direct traffic. Maybe he wasn't getting the service all game long or the flow wasn't condusive to the Dichio-typical game, but his missed sitter and his seemingly regular out of position, Danny gets the title. I'm chalking it up to an off game.

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