Match Report: New York Red Bulls @ TFC

It's a beautiful, sunny night... somewhere else. Under the blanket of a threatening rain storm, it's a cold-ish Thursday night where the world champions elect take their 3 game win streak against New York Extreme Beverage (2-1-1) at the B. The 7:00pm kick-off for tonight's contest provided us with an attendance under 20,000 but I bet you still couldn't buy a ticket.

Still deliriously optimistic about the season? Yes. Still weary about the rain? Maybe.

Ex-Celtic (name dropping) Oliver Tebily is not starting. But the line up doesn't look much different from Saturday.

Yes, I'm late on the report. I have a life dammit. :)

I've got my shoes on now... so lets dance! Mid-113 predictions had all victories for TFC, just one called a 1-1 draw. Pshaw!

Pregame - The BMO Community Fan of the game is kinda hot. She can help out my community any day... in my PANTS! (I'm kidding, but she was certainly attractive)

2 - Southside was in full voice, just not in sync about it.

12 - Magee for NYEB crosses into the box, harmlessly headed away.

13 - van den Burgh corner, harmlessly headed away. Seriously, ask KC how well that fared for them.

15 - There was a foul. I missed it because I was trying to remember how the "Are you Kansas City in disguise" song goes. Philly calls it that there was a handball on NYEB and no call, then Toronto goes in for a harmless challenge and gets a free kick called against us.

16 - Marvell Wynne puts on a clinic on how to defend.

18 - Magee goes for corner #2, and ends up at the head of Wee Jimmy B. Failure.

19 - Claudio Reyna goes for a corner. The BRILLIANT U-Sector poster they held up as Reyna takes the shot can only be seen to be appreciated.

21 - Edu gets a weak shot on NYEB keeper Tim Conway. I know his name is Jon, but it's funny cuz I'm old enough to get it.

22 - Freeman hacks down Wee Jimmy B for a free kick just outside the left side of the penalty area which leads to...

23 - GOAL - Marco Velez flies in unchecked on the back post for a flawless header which Conway can only cry about. Gloriously delivered by Robert. 1-0 to the mighty reds.

25 - Harry Wetnap announces to me that his pants didn't fall around his ankles when Velez scored. Why is this important? Because apparently, when Dichio bagged the first goal in TFC history, he was jumping up and down so much that his pants fell down. I am never turning around again for a goal. Never. It's all about safety and keeping my eyesight intact.

28 - Villa reject John Paul Angel chipped Sutton, but couldn't get it under the bar. Hell of an attempt.

29 - Dichio to Robert, Robert back to Dichio, Dichio to Guevera (¡VIVA LA REVOLUCION!) skidded just wide of the post.

30 - Ricketts with a brilliant tackle that this uncommon in this league. All confidence, all ball, no leg. Top shelf stuff.

31 - Marco Velez chant along the lines of the Marco Polo game. Brilliant and simple.

38 - Apparently if you're marking your player, and he back heels it to your hand at close quarters, results in a free kick because, of course, you were anticipating a back heel and wanted to put your hand in the way to stop it.

39 - GOAL - NYEB van den Burgh, who has been playing like ass all game thus far, somehow sneaks a ball around a wall and into the far right corner, out of the reach of Sutton. Bastard ref.

44 - Dichio turns and gets a weak shot off. Ball comes out and Wynne chases down the ball, and takes it from him as if his opponent never played footie in his life.

Halftime one-word emotions : freezing, numb, gutted, horny, content, ready-to-go, good. I'm surrounded by poets.

47 - Guevera (¡VIVA LA REVOLUCION!) free kick, hooked in, Dichio couldn't quite get hit head to it, Velez diving couldn't quite get his head to it.

49 - Freeman barrels over Robert, gets a free kick which should've been booked, after getting up, Robert snapped and grabs him by the collar and jiu-jistu tosses him to the turf. Gets booked for the throw. The ref is mentally challenged and Robert is still fuming.

50 - Guevera (¡VIVA LA REVOLUCION!) gets booked because Magee dived. The ref could use the help of a seeing eye dog. Hell, he should be a politician.

54 - Robinson with a quality tackle that if he remotely missed, he'd have been booked.

56 - Jimmy B makes his way into the box, hooks it to Ricketts, and the return ball gets desparately knocked out for a corner.

61 - Robert to Guevera (¡VIVA LA REVOLUCION!), Guevera (¡VIVA LA REVOLUCION!) to the ghost of Dichio as Dichio was travelling the wrong direction that the ball was laid to. And I'm still pissed at the bullshit bookings.

64 - Edu beats Freeman on a nothing ball, only to see his shot sail wide.

66 - van den Bergh impedes Edu with a hip check and we only get a free kick. I'd give the ref a rule book, but I doubt he could read it. Robert cuts a ball into the box from the ensuing free kick and "Tim" Conway has it all the way.

67 - We attempt a Rohan Ricketts song to the tune of "Row Row Row Your Boat". Though we laugh, we don't have the heart enough to sing it loud for others to copy. It was that lame.

69 - We establish that Red Bull gives the ref Wings. Prolly his bus fare as well.

70 - Finally, Edu eats the turf and Ubiparipovic gets booked. We didn't think the ref knew how to.

75 - SUB - Jarrod Smith in for Ricketts. Ricketts played an excellent game, as usual.

78 - Edu into the wing, to Smith who hooks it in, cleared back out to Edu who beats about 4 guys before running out of options. Edu was rediculous.

82 - A streaker runs onto the pitch, gets to half circle, sits down and assumes the position to be taken away without resistance. Downside, wasn't naked. Upside, Canadian stereotype.

83 - SUB - Dichio off, Cunningham in. About 38 minutes late.

84 - Free kick from NYEB ends up right in the hands of Sutton. The van den Bergh playing philosophy, if you slam enough shots in enough directions, you're bound to score once.

85 - Leaf fans leave early so they can beat the traffic. Gotta get home to see who's getting voted off in Idol or whatever's on TV on a Thursday.

87 - TFC works the perimiter. Smith is an animal. I was disappointed when Boyens left because of all the "Flight of the Conchords" references we could've done.

92 - Parke for NYEB gave up a huge ball for Guevera (¡VIVA LA REVOLUCION!), only for him to put it in the hands of "Tim" Conway

93 - Edu battles with Ubiparipovic, beats him, Goldthwaite does what he could rarely do in a red shirt and stop the ball.

Thumbs Up : U-Sector for the Reyna sign. MAGIC!

Thumbs Down : Our win streak ends. TFC deserved a much better fate than the scoreline displayed.

Man of the Match : Wynne. 10 out of 10. Flawless game. Edu, gets an honourable mention.

Goat : The ref. Idiot. Seriously. I know every team thinks the ref is against their side, but aside from the Kansas City game, I've yet to see a match where a solid arguement couldn't be made that the ref wasn't biased.