BREAKING NEWS: Bald Of Confusion: DD, De GU & DP's

Does Mo Johnston take vacations to active volcanoes? The surly Scotsman sure does love watching a good blow-up doesn't he? News in TFC-world this afternoon is that a press conference has been called for tomorrow where any number of things may be possibly announced. The two most valid rumours swirling around involve striker/ bald messiah Danny Dichio and the other our favourite defensive midfielder/ afro enthusiast Julian De Guzman.

The Dichio rumour is that the team's original cult hero will announce his "voluntary" retirement from the game and subsequently begin his new role as a coach for the club. There has been an uncomfortable air around Dichio and his playing time for weeks now and this isn't necessarily surprising. It does seem that the forward has been gently nudged into an early announcement considering he was already planning to retire a month and a half from now. The timing of the announcement lends credence to the second half of this rumour and its necessary cap room involvement. The coaching job offer was a necessity for Mo Johnston in order to prevent mass riots at BMO Field if Dichio would have been released outright. Dichio could be a positive influence in TFC's coaching staff as long as he's not being groomed to be Toronto's version of Kevin Keegan.

The move to eliminate Dichio's salary is apparently to make room on this year's wage bill for the introduction of none other than Julian De Guzman. Reports have placed the Scarborough native and La Liga standout in Toronto and claim that a three year plus Designated Player contract has been signed and awaits MLS approval. If it goes through, De Gu will be suiting up for the remainder of this season and the three following ones. Reports are conflicting whether or not any concrete announcement about De Guzman will be part of Wednesday's conference. Whether the 28 year old realizes the club plays on spray-painted concrete is unknown.

The announcements have come out of the blue and in true TFC fashion, have occurred during some awful play on the pitch. What another DM, even one as talented as De Gu, does for a team who can't score is a question for another day. One thing that is safe to predict is that Dichio will not be the last of TFC's original core of veterans who are shown the door between now and next season.