THE STARTING 11: Ways to survive an MLS lockout

In a little more than a week Major League Soccer and its clubs may take the foolish step of locking out its players. Negotiations on a new CBA are continuing between the league and the players' union but things haven't been too positive yet. If there is a lockout, it could mean a lengthy delay to the 2010 MLS season. The question then becomes - what do supporters do if there's no football?

11. Ask your boss to loan you out to the company's European office

10. Randomly hold up lit flares in crowds

9. Go to church on Sundays... but only for the singing and chanting

8. Drink a case of Red Bull - run naked through your neighbourhood screaming "Call me Juan Pablo!!!"

7. Spray paint stray cats - start your own MLS in backyard

6. Go to supermarket - demand produce manager to "raise the celery cap!"

5. Go to local kids' soccer games - throw streamers at 10 year olds

4. Demand that in the bedroom you are only referred to as "The Designated Player"

3. Start giving your co-workers Brazilian shirt names

2. Ask soccer-moms if they "wanna come over and watch you play"

1. Only drink $9 dollar beers