AFTER 90: TFC gives The Quakes an after-shocker

Nothing could cheer up Joe Cannon

SJ EARTHQUAKES 1 - TORONTO FC 3

Toronto FC's road woes have officially been solved. All road matches will now only be played in California. Maybe it's the sunshine, the easy livin', Arnold Schwarzenegger or the adult film industry. Whatever it is - it's working. After a solid draw against Galaxy a couple of weeks ago, TFC strutted into San Jose, the hottest team in the league, and owned Buck Shaw Stadium for large chunks of the match.

Preki started the match with his own shocker by sitting Dwayne De Rosario and Julian de Guzman and despite a tentative start, The Reds took control offensively. With The Quakes on their heels in the 1st half, "The" Chad Barrett opened the scoring by putting one past the previously impenetrable Joe "Hot Video" Cannon.

Toronto managed to control the match well through very solid defense led by Adrian Cann and got a jolt with the inclusion of De Ro and de Gu in the 2nd half. De Ro had added a second goal before SJE pulled one back and then threw their entire team at TFC late in the match. Quakes went as far as "pulling the goalie" but with Cannon stuck in a goalmouth scramble De Ro managed an amazing "empty netter" to end the match 3-1. A California "happy ending".

MAN OF THE MATCH: Stefan Frei (TFC)... solid

THE GOAT: Joe Cannon (SJE)... flaccid

MATCH IN FIVE WORDS: Shocking. High School stadium. Erotic.

SENSATIONAL HEADLINE: "JOE CANNON LETS A DRIBBLER INTO THE BOX"

TOTALLY FAKE POST-MATCH QUOTE: "Let The Chad tell you about it. After The Chad scores a goal, which he does a lot lately, The Chad likes to shoot his awesomeness up into the air like a 21-gun salute to amazing. After The Chad shoots the awesome into the air he salutes it as it drifts down over all the Little Chadsters in the crowd. Awesomeness." - Chad Barrett on his penalized post-goal celebration

NEXT TFC MATCH: Vancouver (Wednesday - BMO Field)

Shocker