TORONTO FC 1 - HOUSTON DYNAMO 1
Canadians are good at two things on our national holiday: drinkin' beers and fightin'! Down at tonight's match at BMO Field - TFC were all outta beers! In a move that is sure to finally endear the beautiful game to Toronto's affluent "Hoser" community, The Reds' punctuated their Canada Day matchup against Houston Dynamo with a sweet little hissy scrap. Shocked BMO Field security didn't know which way to turn - shirtless supporters or scrapping Reds!
There is little to say about the match up until the fisticuffs (or slapticuffs) midway through the second half except that TFC has hit the wall once again in the old striker department. I know, I know - Mo's looking for another striker... this is why we drink. In fact, the once named "Fortress BMO" is quickly turning into the "Fortress of Drawitude". Either way, the match was a sloppy back and forth affair with little skill play until... FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!
Yes, after a few angry bumps and collisions it all kicked off between Houston's Joseph Ngwenya (who looks like the Predator's drag queen cousin) and young Torontonian Nana Attakora. Nana was doing just fine but his fellow hometowner Julian de Guzman felt there was only room for one wacky hairstyle and plowed into Ngwenya with the rest of both teams joining the dance. de Guzman and Ngwenya both saw red cards and with both teams at 10 men things settled down. Houston grabbed a lead from a Brian Ching header with TFC grabbing a late equalizer from an identical Dan Gargan "Tuan" header. Yet another draw and TFC may be in a mid-summer scoring drought - but hey, they can punch!
MAN OF THE MATCH: Dwayne De Rosario (TFC)... scrappy
GOAT OF THE MATCH: Amadou Sanyang (TFC)... crappy
MATCH IN FIVE WORDS: Drag Queen Predator. Punched. Canada!
SENSATIONAL HEADLINE: "VOLUME ONE OF 'CRAIG FORREST'S ROCK EM' SOCK EM' SOCCER' ON SALE NOW!"
TOTALLY FAKE POST-MATCH QUOTE: "I very furious that Coach Radosavljevic no put me into fight! When I am child in Siberia I punch horse, cow, truck and building everyday. I say to Coach "let Maxim fight dreadlocked transvestite - I must break him" but coach say no, now I am sad and angry. I go now and punch my dinner and maybe window. If he dies... he dies." - Maxim Usanov on his lack of playing time tonight
NEXT TFC MATCH: Colorado (BMO Field - July 10)
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omg - best interview of all time! I must break him - lolz!!!
ReplyDeleteIf he dies... he dies.
ReplyDeletep.s. You neglected to mention Houstan's massively onside goal that got disallowed. That was World Cup level bad reffing but at least it was in our favour this time.
One goal in the last three home games. Is this the summer swoon? Why not the solid Dan Gargan in the midfield? Usanov should be playing. Labrocca, Peterson and Sanyang are driving me mad!
ReplyDelete