TFC Coles Notes for back-to-school supporters

I wonder if Lesly Fellinga is on the test?

It's back-to-school time again! For many of Toronto FC's youthful supporters that means heading back to campus where Kraft Dinner and Pabst Blue Ribbon become major food groups, pyjamas are acceptable outerwear and regular bathing becomes a memory as distant as the summer breeze.
　
It's not all fun and powdered cheese however - these young scholars have to hit the books in order to secure their degrees and eventually join the working world in a totally unrelated career to their education. There's little time for these future Customer Service Reps. to spend watching their beloved Toronto FC - but not to worry! The fine educators here The Yorkies Institute of Footy Probabilities have put together an easy to read, pocket sized look into the future of the remaining 2010 season.
　
So here you go scholars, we believe that children are the future and all that junk, here in simple Headlines and By-lines is all you need to know about the rest of The Reds' year in handy chronological order. Remember, Pabst is not a toy!
　
SPOILER ALERT!
　
"TFC LOSE AGAIN ON THE ROAD"
"Team Canada to blame" says Preki
　
"LOSS ON ROAD HURTS TFC"
Playoff hopes in danger - "Did I mention Team Canada": Preki
　
"REDS DRUBBED IN MEXICO CITY"
"Schedule, travel, injuries to blame"
　
"DRAW AT HOME KEEPS PLAYOFF HOPES ALIVE"
"We played hard but were unlucky at the end"
　
"ROAD WOES CONTINUE FOR TFC"
"We've got a good team here" insists coach
　
TFC ELIMINATED FROM CHAMPIONS LEAGUE
Preki opts for reserve team - "We gave it our best"
　
"BMO FIELD WIN LIFTS REDS' SPIRITS"
Fans sing ‘Dichio Song’ as playoff gap down to 5 points
　
"MLSE SCORE 99% SEASON TICKET RENEWALS"
"Shows we're on the right track" says Mo Johnston
　
"MASSIVE ROAD LOSS ENDS TFC SEASON"
"Overall it was a good season - we played as a team" Preki
　
"TFC FANS UPSET AT LACK OF PLAYOFFS"
New TFC jersey to be unveiled soon!
　
"MO JOHNSTON'S TRACK RECORD QUESTIONED"
"But I said "5" year plan all along!" - New kit leaked online!
　
"MLS CUP AT SNOWY, HALF-EMPTY BMO FIELD"
"We're aiming to be here in 2011": Johnston
　
"NANA ATTAKORA SIGNS FOR SWEDISH CLUB"
"We've got our eye on a few new players" says Mo
　
"WHITECAPS BUILD CONTENDER FOR FIRST YEAR"
TFC's new uniform nearly ready for sale!
　
"TRANSFER WINDOW CLOSES - NO NEW REDS"
"We'll look at the Draft and some promising trialists": Johnston
　
"NEW TFC KIT ON SALE TODAY!"
Fans flock to buy new shirt - Mo Johnston signs new 5 year contract