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Monday, October 4, 2010

THE STARTING 11: ML$E 2011 season ticket ad slogans

Jim Brennan - star of "5 Year Plan II: The Plannening"

Poor old Maple Leaf $ports and "Entertainment". They work their fingers to the silk glove to bring us quality "soccer" and what do we do? Yell and protest at them because we are greedy and want a marginally "good team". We supporters should be ashamed of ourselves! Do you know how hard it is to get out of your solid gold bed, lift off the mink duvet and slip into your Siberian Tiger-head slippers, only to read in the morning papers that the fans that you treat like royalty (Sudanese royalty) are angry with you? It's enough to put the poor ML$E exec off his breakfast of blue whale steak, dodo eggs, unicorn DNA and virgin's tears. They'll have to try harder than ever to promote those ticket packages but don't worry - they have their best ad-men on the case...
(And yes... its sarcasm)
11. "Imagine how much we could have charged if they were good!"
10. "10% off Preki bobbleheads with season tickets"
9. "Come see TV commercial superstar Danny Dichio!"
8. "Witness new GM Jimmy Brennan embark on a new 5 Year Plan!"
7. "See Vancouver Whitecaps live - we here they're pretty good"
6. "Watch (enter false DP/ coach/ GM rumour here) and Toronto FC!"
5. "Come on people - you make more than Dan Gargan does!"
4. "TFC - what else you gonna watch? The Lynx? Pfft."
3. "MLS Cup 2010: Not because you want to - because we made you!"
2. "Can you say Butty Buffet?"
1. League One football - Premier League prices!"

All the chips you can butt


  1. Should TFC appoint Jim Brennan as GM, I'll be convinced that ML$E was involved in the Kennedy assassination and 9/11.

  2. you always complain about ML$E only caring about the Leafs, what planet are you living on?? they dont care about the Leafs either, they only want the money from that too, they couldnt care less about how the leafs do. Four years without making the playoffs? small cheese, the leafs havent done it in 5 and havent won a cup in 43 years.

  3. @ Anon 3:14

    I re-read this to se if we slighted the Leafs at all but couldn't find it so I assume you refer to past posts.

    I'll clear a misunderstanding - we don't think ML$E "cares" about the Leafs, we agree with you, they don't "care" about any of their teams winning. Just profits, TV markets, core audience demographics and merchandising. Believe me Anon, we are on the same page.

    What you may have mistook is our opinion that the suits on Bay St. regard Leafs as the jewel in the money crown and they are definitely hockey fans before basketball fans and basketball fans waaaaaaay before football (soccer) fans. But... as we agree - they are cash fans first and foremost.

    Yes 4 years may not compare to the Leafs history of mediocrity but if ML$E thinks TFC are the GrassLeafs, there will be no team here whose fans you can abuse in another few years, let alone 43. Like it or not (and I personally don't) but Toronto is a Maple Leafs town and every other team is only a few bad financial years away from extinction. That was a long winded way to say we pretty much agree.