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Monday, March 21, 2011

THE STARTING 11: Rejected items for the TFC Season Ticket package

"Yourassowsky looks amazing in those"

For Toronto FC's loyal yet downtrodden season ticket holders, receiving the annual box full of tickets and assorted goodies has become a rite of Spring. Despite knowing that patience will be necessary in Year V, opening the Pandora-sent box to 2011 was nonetheless exciting. Well, perhaps it would have been a bit better if the new scarf didn't look like a Hudson Bay Company reject and the glossy Yearbook wasn't a reminder of one of the club's most horrible seasons... but as usual we digress. There were other items that were considered as additions to the big box of joy, but hey... postage and stuff... MLSE's not a charity you know!
11. Framed and autographed black & white print of Adrian Cann's abs
10. Souvenir lock of Mo Johnston's hair
9. "The Big Book of Dutch Curse Words"
8. Joao Plata
7. A donation envelope for the club's new charity - "TFC WORKS - Employing Under-privileged Footballers Since 2007"
6. 800 Marlies tickets
5. Audiobook version of Louisa May Alcott's classic Little Women as read by Maicon Santos
4. A pair of sexy red underwear with the word "Yourassowsky" on the backside
3. iTunes gift card good for one free download of "I Do Thingsh My Waysh: Bob de Klerk does Sinatra"
2. A free sample of Stefan Frei's new Swiss chocolate bar "Goalblerone"
1. A new 5-Year-Planner


  1. Awesome, laughed my socks off.

  2. I'm smiling here........I'm smiling. : )
    Joao Plata, hahahhahahahahaahhhaaa

    I enjoy your straight up, no none sense humorous critiques.