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Monday, June 27, 2011

THE STARTING 11: Effects of playing Vancouver Whitecaps twice in a week

#soccerbowl79 - So hot right now!

A common joke term used to describe Canada is "America's Hat". However, if you look at the two Canadian clubs in Major League Soccer - it's more like "America's Bib". While the perfectly perfect Vancouver Whitecaps have the excuse of being a first-year MLS club to wash away their sins, the local club just has to rely on its corporate motto "Rebuilding Since 2008". To be blunt, if MLS does ever go Single Table, Canada’s teams would be those felt circles under the legs. Anyhoo, as our west coast cousins set up camp in T.O. (Wednesday for a league fixture and Saturday for the replay of the biblically denied NutCan Final) we wonder what the local effects of having this much Whitecap in our midst will be...
11. Local Lululemon outlets report huge spike in sales
10. Rogers Cable employees constantly crank-calling Caps' hotel - asking them to switch their Bell jerseys for a Rogers one
9. Vancouver goalkeeper / adult film star Joe Cannon spending days trying to frame hilariously saucy shot of him and the CN Tower
8. The discovery of eight lost local Nash brothers
7. Somehow #soccerbowl79 keeps trending on Twitter
6. Canadian National Team players from both clubs try to have Canada Day picnic - easily pushed away from last picnic spot by elderly family from Panama
5. TFC gets the chance once-and-for-all to prove they're only the second worst club in MLS!
4. Toronto stationary stores stocking up on red cards in preparation for Eric Hassli's arrival
3. Somehow the Boston Bruins win the Voyageurs Cup
2. Mayor Rob Ford's spot in this weekend's Gay Pride Parade taken by Bobby Lenarduzzi
1. Two times the riots!

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