Kinder Surprise! You're moving to mid-Ohio!
When David Beckham made his much bally-hooed, sexy landing in Los Angeles a few years ago, many MLS observers thought it would open a floodgate of European stars heading to North America. As supporters of the league know, the deluge never quite happened. Apart from the odd Ljungberg or Henry, no extra flights were added across the Atlantic to handle a sudden influx to MLS. The idea of the big-name Designated Player can still be tempting for some clubs but there seems to be difficulty getting the UEFA star to trade Frankfurt for Foxboro. With the transfer window upon MLS, Johnny Foreigner still has some problems with playing footy in North America...
11. Not a single club named Grasshopper
10. Feelings of guilt when having to park luxury sports car next to teammate's 1993 Toyota Camry
9. Need more clubs in either New York City or Los Angeles
8. No matter what your agent says - Columbus is not located on the "Ohio Riviera"
7. Too many people in Manchester United kits
6. Not enough hilarious corruption scandals
5. Serious lack of Benetton stores
4. Horizontal NFL lines on pitch "not slimming"
3. Kinder Egg surprises not as whimsical
2. Good luck finding a bidet at a Holiday Inn
1. CONCACAF has too many letters in it
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Maybe they are just intimidated by playing with players who have graduated from a University and actually know that the world is not flat ..... ; )
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