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Wednesday, July 6, 2011

AFTER 90: Reds get a wake up in the city that never sweeps

Harrison, NJ - drink it in.

IN THE TUNNEL:
A fine night at one of North America's finest football stadiums. Despite the excitement of playing in one of the world's greatest cities (well, it's bombed out post-apocalyptic suburb at least) TFC has rarely had a good time in the Big Apple's shadow. Oh well, at least De Ro's not there to rub any salt in the wounds. Can TFC overcome the 10-1 outscoringing (English be fun!) in the last 3 matches vs. NYRB? Will Kid N' Play be at pitch-side like a welfare Jay-Z? Get your inhaler we're going to The Garden State!
 
ON THE PITCH:
1' - The glorious $200 Million dollar Red Bull Arena would be such a good stadium with fans in it. Kick-off...
9' - Joao Plata starting where he left off against Vancouver forcing a corner after driving at goal
15' - Both clubs marching back and forth taking sharp shots at each other. Nick Soolsma followed right after by NYRB's Luke Rodgers
18' - Dan Gargan is marking Thierry Henry. More on this later surely.
25' - No C-List hip-hop stars spotted yet at Red Bull Arena
28' - Henry, Lindpere, Rodgers, Richards and Tainio - NYRB are filthy with offensive riches
30' - Soolsma slides achingly close but can't direct a Gargan cross past the giant gloves of Greg Sutton
33' - GOAL: TFC's brittle defence opened up by the quality of Thierry Henry who walks in and easily slots one past Stefan Frei
NEW YORK 1 - TORONTO 0
37' - GOAL: Reds unable to regroup as Luke Rodgers blasts a beautiful volley past Frei while Ty Harden looks on confused
NEW YORK 2 - TORONTO 0
40' - News that Big Daddy Kane was buying a slushee in the Red Bull Arena mezzanine yet to be verified
45' - NYRB's Joel Lindpere sends a screamer of a free kick past Frei as TFC's defence looks frightened of the ball. Somehow the goal is called off on a very dubious call which TFC will take as they run away for the interval
 
HALFTIME: NEW YORK 2 - TORONTO 0
 
45' - SUB: Danleigh Borman off for Ashtone Morgan. Sure. Why not?
46' - Sadly there was no halftime performance by Heavy D
51' - GOAL: Javier Martina hits the post but as TFC stands around licking their wounds, Joel Lindpere marches up the field and easily beats Frei. Good grief.
NEW YORK 3 - TORONTO 0
56' - SUB: Matt Stinson in for an underwhelming Tony Tchani. Meh.
60' - Kool Moe Dee spotted in upper deck... selling hot dogs
65' - NYRB's Juan Agudelo almost scores if not for The Goalblerone’s fingers...
66' - GOAL: He obviously doesn't like missing. On the ensuing corner Agudelo beats Harden easily and heads past Frei. Ugly.
NEW YORK 4 - TORONTO 0
67' - : SUB: Mikael Yourassowsky off for Gianluca Zavarise. Uh-huh.
71' - 2/3 of De La Soul seen giggling behind Stefan Frei
77' - If there were fans at Red Bull Arena, the "oles" would be deafening - TFC can't get a touch
82' - TFC has gone on late-match hiatus
85' - Two members of 3rd Bass just bought Henry shirts
88' - GOAL: Juan Agudelo picks apart Harden and flicks past Frei
NEW YORK 5 - TORONTO 0
90'+ - Much like BDP Posse's career. Over.
 
FULL TIME: NEW YORK 5 - TORONTO 0
 
IN THE BATHS:
In a way, a miserable loss that tempers the boisterous spirits of TFC may not be so bad. The club and its supporters have been buzzing over the last week about the Vancouver double, the NutCan and the DP signings but tonight's dismantling in Harrison was illuminating. Despite having Frings and Koevermans on their way, it is clear that TFC is still a very long way from competing with the best in this league and the silver lining of having their asses handed to them will be that there is no denying that. The recent good vibes may have tempted Reds' management to rest on their laurels but there can be no doubt that the transfer window still needs to be held wide open.
 
PLAYER RATINGS: Stefan Frei 6 / Dan Gargan 6 / Richard Eckersley 6 / Ty Harden 4 / Danleigh Borman 5.5 (Ashtone Morgan ) / Nathan Sturgis 6 / Tony Tchani 5 (Matt Stinson 6 ) / Mikael Yourassowsky 5.5 ( Gianluca Zavarise ) / Javier Martina 5.5 / Nick Soolsma 6 / Joao Plata 6
 
THE YORKIES' TFC MAN OF THE MATCH: Nathan Sturgis. Why not?
TALKING POINT: It was just a re-run. Discuss

4 comments:

  1. Bignewf,

    Can't we give him anything lower than a 3? AGAIN he was terrible. I swear he's been personally responsible for a good 40% of our goals against over the past 5 games.

    Seriously, did Nana sleep w Winter's wife or something? To keep going to the Harden well is criminal.

    C.

    ReplyDelete
  2. RT @yorkies1812: That Transfer Window had better see players coming to TFC like "clowns out of a tiny car".

    Rock solid comment, and absolutely still applies, even after Frings and koevermans.

    C.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Harden shouldn't have been playing...crocked up after the last game and can be a gong show even when healthy, yet Winter has zero faith in Henry. That new CB can't get here fast enough.

    ReplyDelete