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Monday, July 25, 2011

THE STARTING 11: Ways that TFC players are trying to gel

Like Magellan apparently...

It's the word that's sweeping the nation: "gel". As Toronto FC tries to explain away loss after loss, the collection of new players added recently has provided excusematicians (it's real - I looked it up) the new verb du jour. "Injuries", "lack of talent", "a new system", "Harden"... they can all go jump - "needing to gel" is the problem! Yeah! But how to achieve this "gelling"? Gelmaticians (also real) are observing The Reds with great curiosity to see how they can achieve such gelatinous status...
11. Watching Andy Iro pull the team bus by his teeth
10. Rooting through Collin Samuels' old locker - divvying up the uneaten Twinkies
9. Everyone wearing the outrageously comfortable Dr. Scholl's Massaging Gel Insoles!*
Today's Starting 11 is brought to you by Dr. Scholl's Massaging Gel Insoles  - designed to provide maximum comfort and support... "Are you gellin'?"
8. Lining up sandwiches in the lunchroom in a 4-4-2 formation - watching Aron Winter fly into a violent rage
7. Giggling hysterically as Torsten Frings screams at Ty Harden in filthy Bavarian slang

6. Going over to Bob de Klerk's house for his infamous Rutger Hauer Film Festival
5. Stay up late gossiping about cute boys and doing each other's hair
4. Playing Hide 'N Seek with Julian de Guzman (undefeated in 2011)
3. Turn MLS Table upside down - pretend they're 2nd overall
2. Joao Plata dresses as an elf - hands out gifts
1. Practicing Nicaraguan swear words

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