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Monday, August 22, 2011

THE STARTING 11: Toronto FC delays at airport customs

"Anything to declare?"... "Yes, we're not very good."

When things go poorly for Toronto FC on the road, we often hear that "travel" has caught up with the team. It may seem like a handy excuse but any of us who have fought our way through airports know that it can be taxing at the best of times. With the added joy of getting to tour some of Central America's finest "Slightly" International Airports, The Reds can be given a little rope to excuse poor away form... but only a little. One of the most time consuming aspects of airport travel is waddling your way through customs. Nowadays, passing through this level of security can be akin to a Guantanamo-esque interrogation, which led us to wonder what happens when TFC meets up with border guards...
11. Bob de Klerk constantly warned that one more "air rage" outburst could get him deported
10. Always have to spend ages explaining to Canada Customs that they are a football team... which is a soccer team... which is like foot hockey
9. Team must declare Andy Iro as a dangerous weapon
8. Stefan Frei causes delay in line by always whispering to border guards if they know "which gate the next flight to Zurich leaves from"
7. Nick Soolsma always being detained when trying to smuggle his suitcase full of exotic international cheeses into country
6. Must produce documents showing Joao Plata's legal guardianship
5. Bags full of XXX Dutch DVD's always being confiscated
4. Have to explain how Rohan Ricketts ended up being a stowaway in the cargo hold
3. Ty Harden declared as an endangered species
2. Club always claims four years’ worth of baggage
1. When asked if he has anything to declare, Aron Winter replies "It is a pity"

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