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Sunday, August 21, 2011

AFTER 90: Unbeaten Streak's Day Off

I had the same look on my face watching TFC

IN THE TUNNEL:
Rarefied air for Toronto FC as they fly into suburban Chicago's Toyota Park tonight. Not only are The Reds trying to extend an unbeaten streak that goes back nearly a month now but they also face a team lower than themselves in the MLS table. Fire have been sputtering this season and look ripe for the picking but TFC is on the bad end of a Central American round trip and are carrying some big knocks with them. Will The Torontos manage to shake the away form monkey from their backs? Will Dan Gargan score a hat trick against his old club? Are games in Chicago suburbs the same as John Hughes' suburban Chicago movies?
 
ON THE PITCH:
1' - A sunny night in suburban Chicago but no sign of any members of The Breakfast Club, Gary & Wyatt, or Long Duk Dong. Kick-off...
3' - Early pressure from Fire as Patrick Nyarko forces a save from Milos Kocic
7' - Young TFC bulldog Matt Stinson cracks a long range blast that forces a big save by Fire GK Sean Johnson
10' - No sign of Abe Froman - Sausage King of Chicago
16' - GOAL: Fire's Dominic Oduro gets on the end of a little TFC defensive pinball and slides the ball past a diving Kocic. Geeks, wastoids. dweebies.
CHICAGO 1 - TORONTO 0
22' - "Defence?... Defence?... Defence?..."
32' - Ryan Johnson breaks free and takes shot on Sean Johnson. Johnson v Johnson. Sean comes out Head & Shoulders above. I'm here all week. Try the knackwurst.
37' - Julian "de Bomber" de Guzman goes close on yet another long-range attempt. Feeling confident on those lately
40' - "Dominic Oduro moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss him."
44' - Marco Pappa doesn't preach but almost makes Milos Kocic lose sleep with a curling volley from just outside the TFC area. Big save by the lanky Balkan
45' - Ref blows to end the half - tells Ed Rooney to make sure Sloane is waiting outside Toyota Park
 
HALFTIME: CHICAGO 1 - TORONTO 0
 
45' - SUB: Is that Abe Froman?! Oh, no it's just Nathan Sturgis. In for the underwhelming Javier Martina.
47' - Fire could have been up by two if Sebastian Grazzini hadn't fluffed a huge opportunity in front of Kocic
50' - de Guzman strikes a good right-footed shot that cracks the Fire post and Joao Plata barely misses putting home the rebound. Very close to equalizing
55' - Ball shot into stands. Caught by dapper teen and his two friends. Holds ball up to show the crowd.
60' - SUB: The effective de Guzman replaced on the hour mark by Belgian supervillain Mikael Yourassowsky
67' - Kocic forced to rush out of goal and crash into a charging Oduro to make a very crucial save
68' - GOAL: You are effing kidding me. Dan Gargan. Goal. Words do not exist.
CHICAGO 2 - TORONTO 0
72' - Frings & Iro: "Where's your brain?" "Why'd you kick me?" "Where's your brain?" "Why'd you kick me?" "Where's your brain?" "I asked you first."
77' - Ryan Johnson grazes the post with a header. TFC's main offensive threat tonight
80' - SUB: Ashtone Morgan seeing out the game for Danleigh Borman
84' - "SAVE KOEVERMANS"
90'+ - Ref whistles to end the match as TFC's bus driver becomes distraught when finding out that the miles aren't coming off the bus' mileage gauge by running it in reverse
 
FULL TIME: CHICAGO 2 - TORONTO 0
 
IN THE BATHS:
"In 1930, the Republican-controlled House of Representatives, in an effort to alleviate the effects of the... Anyone? Anyone?... the Great Depression, passed the... Anyone? Anyone? The tariff bill? The Hawley-Smoot Tariff Act? Which, anyone? Raised or lowered?... raised tariffs, in an effort to collect more revenue for the federal government. Did it work? Anyone? Anyone know the effects? It did not work, and the United States sank deeper into the Great Depression. Today we have a similar debate over this. Anyone know what this is? Class? Anyone? Anyone? Anyone seen this before? The Laffer Curve. Anyone know what this says? It says that at this point on the revenue curve, you will get exactly the same amount of revenue as at this point. This is very controversial. Does anyone know what Aron Winter called this in 2011? Anyone? Something-t-a-l football. "Total" football."
 
PLAYER RATINGS: Milos Kocic 7 / Richard Eckersley 6 / Torsten Frings 6 / Andy Iro 5.5 / Danleigh Borman 5.5 / Matt Stinson 6.5 / Julian de Guzman 6.5 (Mikael Yourassowsky 5) / Peri Marosevic 6 / Javier Martina 5 (Nathan Sturgis 5.5 ) / Ryan Johnson 6.5 / Joao Plata 5.5
 
THE YORKIES' TFC MAN OF THE MATCH: Milos Kocic
TALKING POINT: Too many "Days Off" this year. Discuss.

2 comments:

  1. The Ferris Bueller take is priceless! Bravo!

    I thought De Guzman did a lot of good things this evening. Subbing him off might have seemed questionable but the bigger game is this midweek so keeping him fresh is a key. He's on a run of good form right now and I hope this continues until season's end, showing a lot of confidence with his shooting but also good strength in his ball winning. More importantly, I hope that form continues with the fall WC qualifiers. I've always liked him as a player even when he was getting a lot of flak but I don't think he'll be back here when his contract runs out.

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  2. If WInter/DeKlerk/Mariner were running a restaurant, the place would be empty and the sign would say "Closed-constant repairs ruined the flavour of the food".
    Sorry, but this is a team going nowhere. The problem is not only the talent on the team, but the lack of spirit and chemistry that the coaching squad has failed to install and instill. Dan Gargan scores for Chicago and it illustrates that desire and hustle count for something in a team sport. JDG took a shot and hit a post. Sure, he has played dozens of games where he was far worse. The fact that he has slightly improved does not make him anywhere near good enough.

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