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Tuesday, October 11, 2011

THE SOUTH STAND REPORT: Canada v Puerto Rico... or This is not the soup you're looking for

I don't think this is what Hart had in mind...

It was a nice night out at BMO, but deja vu was in the air.  The last time a team in red played a team from the not-quite-a-U.S.-state, it was a group-stage clincher-type set-up where the visitors put 8 defenders in front of their goal and got the result needed to wreck everything.

Seriously, the parallels are there.

The game featured much of Canada controlling the ball quite nicely everywhere, except in the penalty area, followed by Puerto Rico getting a little counter that ends up doing nothing.  Josh Simpson working his ass off but creating little.  Jackson and Occean always just being a little too far/too close to head the ball on the crosses.  deGoo doing step over after step over.  DeRo trying to create some space.  Everyone holding on to the ball a little too long.  The absence of a right winger.  The overpopulation of the left wing.  These were the prominent themes of the beautiful October evening ruined by a lack of courage to shoot the ball.

Late in the match, Tyler Wilson gets through the solid back four and launches a shot that hits Hirschfeld right in the chest. Sadly, this was the best opportunity for either side all night.

When it was all said and done, the match ended in a grossly unsatisfying 0-0. The fear of taking chances did more to harm the scoreline than any opportunities.

However, through the Bobby Lenarduzzi School of Soccer Things, we have uncovered the pattern (Dan Brown's got nothing on this narrative). It turns out that the Canadian Men's National Team can't handle the pressure of playing in the media and financial centre of the country.  Here's the facts:

St Lucia4-17-0
Puerto Rico0-03-0
By this math, Canada's aggregate away is 10-0, but at home it's a paltry 4-1. So we at The Yorkies can safely speculate that:
St. Kitts & Nevis3-216-0

I don't have the exact methodology, but trust me when I say that the science is good.  These are your scorelines

Man of the Match : Josh Simpson was everywhere.

Goat of the Game : Most of the team was mediocre at best.

Ref Rating : 3 out of 5, as they called just about everything good and bad.

Am I the only one who finds it amusing that St. Kitts and Nevis are coming up here on the cusp of winter?

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