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Monday, November 28, 2011

THE STARTING 11: Gameday differences between Toronto FC and Montreal Impact

That's one delicious seat cushion

Bienvenue à la "401 Derby"! With the new improved Stade Saputo (aka L'Emporium de Fromage) under construction and the bones of the squad starting to come together via the MLS Expansion Draft, TFC's natural rival, Montreal Impact, are inching towards life in the big leagues. The derbys between Toronto and Montreal will no doubt be some of the fiercest contests in the league. Due to the many layers of the provincial rivalry, comparisons between the two clubs will be rampant, including how the gameday experiences match-up...

11. Impact supporters sections outnumbered by smoking sections

10. Early-season frostbite in both official languages

9. One section of stadium constantly threatening to separate and start their own club

8. Tons of inflammatory chanting proclaiming St. Hubert's superiority over Swiss Chalet

7. Instead of Bitchy the Hawk, a dude named Claude sits on Stade Saputo's roof and reads angst-filed poetry at pigeons

6. 40% higher reports of baguette-related assaults

5. $10 glass of red wine

4. Referees often replaced by wacky cast of "Just For Laughs Gags"

3. After scoring the first goal, fans plan on showering the pitch with empty Jos. Louis wrappers

2. Scotts' Turf Girls replaced by mime troupe pushing imaginary lawnmowers over pitch

1. Le Butty Poutine

3 comments:

  1. Very funny - not! Impact is winning the league and TFCrap won't even still be in the playoffs. Your the Leafs! lol

    ReplyDelete
  2. awesome. you've picked up a grammatically poor troll.

    congrats.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Aren't all trolls grammatically poor? I believe it's one of the laws of Darwin - makes it easier to spot (and therefore eliminate) them.

    ReplyDelete