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Monday, March 26, 2012

THE STARTING 11: Adjusted Toronto FC 2012 promotional slogans

"This guy was a thing, wasn't he?"

With a number of season tickets still unsold, Toronto FC's bean-counters can't be happy with the sudden sputter of the 2012 season. After the highs of The Reds' CCL exploits, things looked very bright for "SIXual Healing" but a pair of major injuries coinciding with a pair of shambolic fixtures to open the MLS season has tempered emotions. Suddenly, Toronto fans are wringing their hands with fear that 2012 may turn out to be as difficult to watch as... well... every year since 2007. Is it premature to be so concerned? Maybe - but it won't stop the promotions people from trying out some new ways to market a suddenly cooler product...
11. "Come see some guys almost named after foods!"
10. "Adrian Cann is nearly back... ladies?"
9. "Forget that spa day - frozen bracing winds and torrential rains will do wonders for your complexion"
8. "It's still better than that Preki.... right?"
7. "What part of "re-building" don't you understand? Duh."
6. "Next 10 callers win a date with Terry Dunfield!"
5. "Check out our wacky new 10-0-1" formation!"
4. "We're not like the Maple Leafs at all... we have red uniforms"
3. "Renew your passionate hatred of Chivas USA"
2. "Remember Dichio? That was something wasn't it?"
1. "We'll be better in approximately 4-6 weeks"


  1. Delighted to see #3 as I really, really hate Chivas USA. Seriously, I hate those guys, I hate them so very, very much.

    1. Really? Can't tell if you're being sarcastic. I didn't know that team could create emotion in anyone. Even their own fans don't care!

    2. Complete sarcasm with a side of South Park thrown in. :) Who are they again?