THE MATCHUP: Fire in "The Hole"

It seems like yesterday. Well the record does.



TORONTO VS CHICAGO
　
BMO FIELD - SATURDAY 3:30PM ET
TV: TSN2 RADIO: THE FAN 590
　
THE KICKABOUT:
Every TFC supporter remembers it. Back in 2007 the little expansion team that couldn't score a goal, was bleeding goals against and showing few signs of improvement hosted Chicago Fire. That fixture will always be remembered as "The Dichio Game" where the journeyman striker scored the club's first goal and was rewarded with a cascade of seat cushions. Little did any of us know that there would be few memories since that top that day.
　
Fast forward six years and here we still are. A completely different Toronto FC but one with a shocking amount of similar problems. Last in the league, can't score to save their lives and cracks of discontent forming. Can The Reds' current journeyman hero, Torsten Frings, return to action and breathe life back into the club like Dichio did that day? A sense of unwanted (and much undeserved) deja vu awaits as TFC attempts to end a slide that shouldn't be happening 6 AD (After Dichio). At least the club aren't trying to assuage us with a summertime friendly like those early days.... oh... never mind.
　
MANUFACTURED DERBY NAME: "Seat Cushion II: The Cushioning"

PLAYERS TO WATCH:
TORONTO: Adrian Cann, Torsten Frings, Ryan Johnson
CHICAGO: Cory Gibbs, Jay Nolly, Dominic Oduro
　
THE ODDS:
- Dan Gargan returning to score a hat trick - single cushion tossed from upper deck in anger: 10-1
- Every time Chicago scores a goal, BMO Field's scoreboard flashes giant graphic for TFC v Liverpool: 20-1
- In their first game together, Adrian Cann and Torsten Frings collide in a rare dual-career-ending ACL-on-Hamstring Contusion: 50-1
　
WHO ARE YA?
Chicago once again has a kit sponsor on their shirts, this time in the form of cereal giant Quaker Oats. Far from being a one-time sponsorship, the instant oatmeal/ nuclear weapons monolith has attempted to do cross promotion in Illinois by renaming some of its most famous breakfast flavours after Fire players. Sadly, the flavours - "Marco Pappas & Cream"; "Raisin, Date & Gargan"; and "Maple & Corben Bone Sugar" have, for some reason, not resonated with consumers.
　
POST-MATCH HEADLINE: "FIRE LEAVE REDS WITH BURNING SENSATION"
　
And finally, since it's nearly the weekend and we could all do with a dance while enjoying the finest in early-90's computer graphics... "We bring you..."