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Monday, April 23, 2012

THE STARTING 11: Even more depressing moments at BMO Field

"Why so glum chum? Here, have a mocha latte."

Let's not beat around the bush - things are bad at BMO Field. Toronto FC are shattering marks for futility and are one loss away from being record-breakingly bad. Aron Winter's Oranje Revolution seems to have gone the way of Dutch pancakes, players are openly butting heads with management and even ownership has crawled out of its hole to tell us what we already know. However, as bad as the vibes may have been at the Exhibition Grounds post-match, it can always be worse! You know, like the time that...
11. ...Chad Barrett took a shot on goal - leaving dozens in the top row with massive injuries
10. ... Tom Anselmi publically smacked Jim Brennan for bringing him a cappuccino when he clearly ordered a mocha latte! A MOCHA LATTE!
9. ... MLSE's imaginary accountant bounced De Ro's imaginary cheque
8. ... Julian de Guzman's gym bag full of cash couldn't fit in the back of his customized Lamborghini
7. ... Edson Buddle was traded after it became clear to Mo Johnston that he'd never be a successful MLS striker
6. ... Maxim Usanov punched a mirror after getting into a violent argument with his reflection
5. ... delays to the Dufferin 29 bus ended Andrea Lombardo's career
4. ... Raivis Hscanovics' new shirt caused a global shortage in iron-on consonants
3. ... Collin Samuel was rushed to hospital after eating one of the stadium's Pizza Pizza billboards
2.... Jacob Peterson wrote to the United Nations claiming that Canada Day was infringing on his human rights
1. ... Suarez Soolsma was neutered

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