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Thursday, May 24, 2012

THE SOUTH STAND REPORT : Toronto v Vancouver... Or worst champions evar!?!?1!!!

When I think of the V-cup (formerly the NutCan), I think of stupid 8pm kick-offs and a traditional staring competition with the eye of some storm.  I'm not impressed that the correlation doesn't involve a championship.

Can you believe it? We've won this thing before.  Many times. Consecutively. Strange... And poor Vancouver - a beacon of domestic supremacy (*spit* 86ers!) for the better part of 20+ years.  This is truly a bizarro scenario.

If you're visiting this site for the first time, what the hell are you doing here?  Here's a recap: haven't earned a point all season yet yet on the cusp of silverwear, the striker thinks he's on the worst team in the world, we're grateful for a lack of relegation and a "coffee gopher" may very well be our next manager.

And Koevermans' enlightenment has found him on the bench.  Tactical I'm sure...

Predictions were 2-1, 2-0, 1-0 for the visitors, 2-1, 3-2, 4 (and up)-0 for Toronto and a 3-3 draw.  I called 1-1 and the Robins win on penalties.

On to the match:

Capo : Everybody, hands up
Tony : We're being robbed!

5' - Plata is injured!  At least he should be with how he's playing.  Check this out, he received a pass and instead of doing 4 stepovers, he had a go for 25 yards out.  Stopped by Cannon.

7' - Plata gets on the end of a cross with a weak glancing header but it handcuffs Cannon trickling just past the face of goal.

Quote of the Match:
If you ask me, I believe the Queen had her offed.
~ Brandon on Winter's formation and not the conspiracy
surrounding the death of Lady Diana.

21' - If Vancouver goes up 1-0, I hear they've got an earthquake planned for this year's natural disaster...

36' - Free kick has Frings launch a low rocket just wide of the net.

Half-Time mood : content.  Toronto are playing well right now.

54' - SUB - Avila goes down hurt and Koevermans is about to come on the pitch, however...

56' - RED - deGoo hits the showers for slapping Davidson but was likely getting at least a yellow for shoving Le Toux.  In all fairness, Le Toux goes off for his second yellow.  Davidson stayed down a long time for that slap.  Musta been a haymaker.

60' - SUB - Eckersley comes into the game for the injured Avila.

63' - Cross gets glanced again, this time by Lambe, that rolls across the face of goal.  If only we had a #10 type player sitting on the bench...

75' - YELLOW - Lambe goes into the books for a hard foul with no ball.

77' - SUB - Plata makes way for Soolsma.

81' - Eckersley beats his man and slides a pretty ball across the box that Soolsma leans into and slams it into the back the net.  I should mention that he was a few feet offside when he received it.

83' - GOAL - Lambe undoes two defenders and pots it past Cannon.

84' - SUB - Lambe comes off for Dunfield.

85' - YELLOW - Henry gets booked for something.

85' - Vancouver free kick just goes over the bar.  Ohmygoodness...

5 minutes of extra time

90+3' - Vancouver corner had everyone come down for it, including Cannon.  Kocic goes up for it and misses and takes a knock.  Thankfully, the ball was cleared by Morgan.

Full-Time : Somehow... Toronto 1, Vancouver 0

Toronto FC, against all common sense and expectations and currently 0-0-9 in league play, are your Voyageurs Cup Champions.  Yeah, I know, right?

It's also been brought to my attention that Toronto FC goes right into the Champs League main groups... mind you, so does everyone else.  Eight groups of 3 teams each.

Man of the Match : Frings was excellent.  Also, Plata played well, Morgan was very good too.

Goat of the Game : deGoo for the stupidity on the pitch, but otherwise he wasn't that bad.  And Vancouver were playing "very aggressively", which should be read as "being big asshats" so I get his frustration.  (Maybe it is my bias, but before I can be called on that, read some of my other reports how I bury the mighty Robins.)

Ref Rating : 1 out of 5.  Piss piss poor.  Linesmen were bad.  The ref lost control quickly of the match.  Blew plenty of easy calls.  They should get a +1 for not falling for Hassli's antics, but get a -1 for not booking his whining disposition.

Seriously, we're the worst champions in the world.  Quite possibly in history.  Granted, I don't think there are many national championships awarded after a 4-team 2-leg knock-out competition... Plata was cutting back on his step-overs and I hope he realized he was far more effective because of it... I kinda felt bad for Koevermans not getting subbed.  I understood why, as the red card changed the strategic dynamic of the game.  I was certain he would come on as Johnson was about to lose his crap all over his marker, but he did not... Toronto controlled most of the first half, and a good chunk of the second half.  Vancouver didn't get many clear opportunities at Kocic and that's big props to Toronto's back four... Seriously Hassli, in your career, has pleading with officials made your game that much more effective?  You play rough and weren't called on it, and you were roughed up and weren't called on it.  Which way would you prefer?... Speaking of Koevermans, I totally get his frustrations.  At 0-0-9, someone has to break their silence... I should give a few shout-outs.  Aside from the usual @theyorkies1812 and @rohankoomar, its nice to see @kzknowles hanging out and enjoying the madness. 

Sometimes, just sometimes, I'd like my football team to be, you know, ordinary and boring.  You know Kansas City doesn't have stupid drama like this.  Neither does San Jose.  Neither does Chicago.  I'm sure they have dramas, but this is just beyond normal.  Oh football... how I adore thee. C'mon you Robins!

Player Ratings : Kocic 7, Hall 6, Cann 6, Henry 6.5, Morgan 7, deGoo 6, Frings 7, Plata 7.5 [Soolsma 7], Johnson 6.5, Avila 6 [Eckersley 6.5], Lambe 7 [Dunfield N/A]

Should boredom ensue, please follow me on twitter @ignirtoq and see the madness whenever I choose to contribute.  The name comes from a character I had in a video game for a few years.  It is not football related.  Otherwise, popping in from time to time just to see what's up is totally acceptable.

1 comment:

  1. Why thank you kind sir! The madness is ever so much fun when combined with such illustrious company. You'll have a tough time getting rid of me now! Haha. ;)

    P.S. I think the Soolsma T-shirt was good luck.