THE STARTING 11: Innocent football terms and/or Joe Cannon adult films

Oh sometimes this stuff just writes itself

For every Johan de Kock there has been a Fabian Assman. Where would Florian Dick be without Ralf Minge? While Major League Soccer may not possess a nom du foot quite as blunt as a Stefan Kuntz, there can be no doubt who tops the list as "Most Likely to Appear in Porn Credits": Joe Cannon. What a gift the Vancouver Whitecaps goalkeeper was been given by his family - a name that Dirk Diggler would have... well you know... all over. It's hard (chuckle) not to whip out (oh stop it, perv) the double entendres when reporting on Whitecaps matches so as we head towards the 2nd Leg Final on Wednesday we try to separate innocent football terminology from following the words "Joe Cannon starring in..."
　
11. "Box to Box Action"
　
10. "Out Comes The Magic Spray"
　
9. "Furious Five-A-Side Play"
　
8. "Man-To-Man Marking"
　
7. "Changing Ends at the Half"
　
6. "Beating the Keeper"
　
5. "Handling in the Area"
　
4. "Winning over Two Legs"
　
3. "Caught Ball Watching"
　
2. "A Tremendous Solo Effort"
　
1. "Spoiling his Clean Sheet"

Wait? What?