Aron - sign us one of those 18's!
Yes, we may be sucking the Hostess Ding-Dong in MLS, but in Canada... still the big cheese boss! What about in CONCACAF you say? Well we are reigning semi-finalists we'll have you know! In fact, they enjoyed our friendly smiles and Reggie Lambes so much - they invited us back.
Earlier today in CONCACAF's squeaky-clean, corruption-free, super-secret voodoo bunker buried 58 metres below Manhattan, the federation held the draw for the Group Stages of the 2012/2013 Champions League just to see where Toronto FC would get to visit on their third trip south of two borders. Únase a nosotros en el descubrimiento!
C.D. AGUILA
Estadio Juan Francisco Barrazza
San Miguel, El Salvador
While we are very, very angry that Toronto did not draw a Panamanian club, thus denying us reason to play Van Halen's "Panama" - its fun to play a club we have yet to meet. A muggy summertime trip to Central America beckons The Reds as they head to El Salvador - which translated into English means: "The Salvador". After flying to the capital San Salvador (in English: "Son of Salvador") the club will travel by candlelight aboard Mayan watercraft (we assume) 138km to the east and the town of Son of Miguel - or San Miguel in El Salvadorianese. There they will be met by the 1976 CONCACAF Champions (I bet El Salvadorianese disco was boss) C.D. Aguila in the 10,000 capacity Juan Francisco Barrazza Stadium and say goodbye to their ankle bones.
Aguila are a fascinatingly flamboyant team who wear kits that were obviously stolen from a cargo ship supplying the Dutch National squad before the 1988 Euros. Their club badge is an unholy union of all things Dutch, German, Central American and possibly The Stonecutters. However, anytime you get to play a club that trots out players named Glauber, Mardoqueo, Isidro, Deris and... umm...Shawn - it's bound to be a larf.
PLAYER TERRY DUNFIELD NEEDS TO TACKLE: Nicolas Munoz
FAVOURITE PLAYER TO YELL WITH RIDICULOUS ACCENT:
Benji Villalobos!
CELEBRITY SUPPORTERS:
San Miguel: Patron Saint of Cerveza / Disco enthusiast
San Salvador: Patron Saint of Divots / Arch-rival of Miguel
Juan Francisco Barrazza: Futbol ghost / "The El Salvadorian Treat"
LIKELY TABLOID PUN HEADLINE:
"REDS DOWN AFTER TWO SHOTS FROM AGUILA"
CHIP BUTTY EQUIVALENT:
"San'wich Salvador"
Estadio Juan Francisco Barrazza
San Miguel, El Salvador
While we are very, very angry that Toronto did not draw a Panamanian club, thus denying us reason to play Van Halen's "Panama" - its fun to play a club we have yet to meet. A muggy summertime trip to Central America beckons The Reds as they head to El Salvador - which translated into English means: "The Salvador". After flying to the capital San Salvador (in English: "Son of Salvador") the club will travel by candlelight aboard Mayan watercraft (we assume) 138km to the east and the town of Son of Miguel - or San Miguel in El Salvadorianese. There they will be met by the 1976 CONCACAF Champions (I bet El Salvadorianese disco was boss) C.D. Aguila in the 10,000 capacity Juan Francisco Barrazza Stadium and say goodbye to their ankle bones.
Aguila are a fascinatingly flamboyant team who wear kits that were obviously stolen from a cargo ship supplying the Dutch National squad before the 1988 Euros. Their club badge is an unholy union of all things Dutch, German, Central American and possibly The Stonecutters. However, anytime you get to play a club that trots out players named Glauber, Mardoqueo, Isidro, Deris and... umm...Shawn - it's bound to be a larf.
PLAYER TERRY DUNFIELD NEEDS TO TACKLE: Nicolas Munoz
FAVOURITE PLAYER TO YELL WITH RIDICULOUS ACCENT:
Benji Villalobos!
CELEBRITY SUPPORTERS:
San Miguel: Patron Saint of Cerveza / Disco enthusiast
San Salvador: Patron Saint of Divots / Arch-rival of Miguel
Juan Francisco Barrazza: Futbol ghost / "The El Salvadorian Treat"
LIKELY TABLOID PUN HEADLINE:
"REDS DOWN AFTER TWO SHOTS FROM AGUILA"
CHIP BUTTY EQUIVALENT:
"San'wich Salvador"
Best. Dutch-Germanic-Latino badge. Ever.
CLUB SANTOS LAGUNA
Jesús Cristo, didn't we just finish with this lot? Once again Toronto must travel to Torreon, Mexico to face "Los Guerreros" or as they are known on the streets - Santos Laguna. Seriously CONCACAF - no Panamanian team (sorry David Lee Roth) but we get these hombres again?
The Reds played valiantly against the perennial Mexican powerhouse for 3/4 of their CCL semi-final this past April but will have to aim for a win at home if they want a chance to win Group A and avoid becoming "Santos' Little Helper". In other news, we don't have to try very hard at punnage as the April gags like "The Creature from Santos Laguna" and "Colonel Sanders' Lagoon" are still oven-fresh. We're lazy - sue us.
PLAYER TERRY DUNFIELD NEEDS TO TACKLE: Herculez Gomez
FAVOURITE PLAYER TO YELL WITH RIDICULOUS ACCENT:
Jesús Cristo, didn't we just finish with this lot? Once again Toronto must travel to Torreon, Mexico to face "Los Guerreros" or as they are known on the streets - Santos Laguna. Seriously CONCACAF - no Panamanian team (sorry David Lee Roth) but we get these hombres again?
The Reds played valiantly against the perennial Mexican powerhouse for 3/4 of their CCL semi-final this past April but will have to aim for a win at home if they want a chance to win Group A and avoid becoming "Santos' Little Helper". In other news, we don't have to try very hard at punnage as the April gags like "The Creature from Santos Laguna" and "Colonel Sanders' Lagoon" are still oven-fresh. We're lazy - sue us.
PLAYER TERRY DUNFIELD NEEDS TO TACKLE: Herculez Gomez
FAVOURITE PLAYER TO YELL WITH RIDICULOUS ACCENT:
Jorge Ivan Estrada!
CELEBRITY SUPPORTERS:
Corona Beer Drinkers: Drunkards / Style mongers on a budget
Speedy Gonzales: Cartoon mouse / Powerful Mexican politician
Mexican Colonel Sanders: Chicken pedlar / All-white sombrero owner
LIKELY TABLOID PUN HEADLINE:
"SANTOS RUINS REDS' CHRISTMAS"
CHIP BUTTY EQUIVALENT:
"Cerveza Hombre"
Hey... you know, if you keep going south after El Salvador you'll eventually reach a little place called...
CELEBRITY SUPPORTERS:
Corona Beer Drinkers: Drunkards / Style mongers on a budget
Speedy Gonzales: Cartoon mouse / Powerful Mexican politician
Mexican Colonel Sanders: Chicken pedlar / All-white sombrero owner
LIKELY TABLOID PUN HEADLINE:
"SANTOS RUINS REDS' CHRISTMAS"
CHIP BUTTY EQUIVALENT:
"Cerveza Hombre"
A classic. From April 2012.
Hey... you know, if you keep going south after El Salvador you'll eventually reach a little place called...
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I read this blog and i come to know many new thing that are very useful and interesting. Very well written.
ReplyDeleteMap of Central America Countries