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Saturday, June 30, 2012

THE SOUTH STAND REPORT : Toronto v Harrison Extreme Beverage... or all this talk of drinks is making me thirsty

Hey, remember, like, 8 days ago how we were the worst team ever?  Those were some cloudy days, huh?  Its as if we had an extended pre-season where it just didn't matter.  Million dollar Danny (seriously, that guy needs at least a nickname, if not a song) went from being slow and not being able to finish, to being a little faster and smashing them in.  Toronto went from being LOL to WTF with the change of manager.

Sure, the defense is still offensive, and the side blew two 2-goal leads in consecutive matches, but high holy hell, what great drama!  And for once it doesn't involve management / lying to star midfielders / foreign players going bust / snowmobiles.  It's all conveniently located on the pitch in two 45-minute increments consecutively.  I think this is the "football" we've heard so much about.  Waited five and a third seasons for it...

Its hot, humid, and a blessing in disguise - its a night game.

I'm going with a 4-1 result for the mighty Robins.  Why not, were smashing them all as of late.  Laissez les bon temps roulez!

4' - GOAL - Cross came in from the far right, and one touch from Solli starts the game off wrong.

6' - GOAL - corner from Frings, headed down by Million Dollar Danny.  Game on!

That was easy. (no it wasn't)

10' - Lambe takes a through ball 25 yards out, holds off his marker long enough to poke the ball past the keeper, but not enough juice behind it to cross the line.

13' - Our neighbour, Brandon, shows up.  Didn't miss much *big grin*

29' - Danny K gets completely tripped up on the edge of the box in full view of the ref, and no call give.  Idiot ref.

32' - YELLOW - Dunfield takes down Henry for a wee knock, but the hush-hush DP regulations + rolling around dramatically = a booking.

45' - Three of the Beverages were in a massive offside position in an attempt that went off the post.  Not sure of the flags went up, but I'm assuming the worst.

HALF-TIME MOOD : tired from the initial rush of adrenaline slowly tapering off for 40 minutes.

67' - SUB - Lambe makes way for Soolsma.  Meow.

76' - Emory comes up with a huge tackle on Lindpere that gets the ball and leaves the Beverege crumples in a heap.  Aaaaaaand, he's jacked about the tackle, as he should.

79' - SUB - deGoo comes on for Avila

81' - someone on Toronto whips a ball into the middle and Koevermans heads it right into the keeper's hands.

83' - Here's a string you've never seen before.  Dunfield lays off for deGoo who crosses it into a sliding Soolsma who just puts it wide.  Fabulous stuff.

Now its getting fun.

85' - Frings crosses just past the net, but Johnson's header places the ball 6 yds in front of goal and is cleared to safety by a defender.

86' - SUB - Koevermans makes way for Silva and receives a nice round of applause.

2 mins of Extra Time

FULL TIME : Toronto 1, Harrison 1

Man of the Match - Frings.  Engine goes vroom.

Goat of the Game - none, really.

Ref Rating : 2 out of 5.  Henry's theatrics, Dannys foul and some other nonsensical bullshit I expect with discount refs.

In our appreciation for the Extreme Beverage away kit that we liked (because if you look quickly, they look like Boca Juniors standing at a Sunoco) and our general fondness for kits and crests, I'd like to introduce a semi-regular feature that less than 1% of the nerds reading this will appreciate...

Kit spotting : we spotted a Birmingham City away, OGC nice away, Bordeaux away but the Obscurity Award goes to the Eintract Frankfurt home kit worn by the 9 year old behind us.  That's kinda random.

This was the first match in a long time that the visitors were the ones holding onto the point.  Totally not like TFC and definitely not like Harrison... good to see so many people out to support Henry today.  Better that he didn't do a helluva lot except complain, embellish and deny Ireland a rightful trip to South Africa (too soon?)... It really is too soon to gush but the combinations of good crosses from Morgan and Johnson gets some of us giddy.  Mariner has got them playing some fairly nice football... Remember when Kenny Cooper was someone?... So, we realize that we cannot nickname Logan Emory "Screech" because he has now lopped off his curly 'fro.  However, we recognize that he looks like someone else...

Stalteri, meet the younger version of you, Staltini
It's a compliment, we assure you.

Dear MLS/Adidas,

I know I've gone on about how I detest your numbers and how a 1 and a 7 look waaay to close, but I'd like to point out how we guessed that the Harrison keeper's name is probably Meara.  We say probably because the stupid futuristic A and the stupid futuristic R are both far too similar when you're sitting as far away as we are (which isn't that far really).  We resigned for the rest of the game to call him both Marrr or Meaaa because it is absurd and ridiculous for a literate person to have to guess what the name says.

Change it.

It's been too friggin long and it isn't 2003 anymore. 

Yours in football kits, nerdity and graphic design,

The Yorkies

Player Ratings - Kocic 6.5, Hall 6.5, Eckersley 6, Emory 6.5, Morgan 6, Lambe 6.5 [Soolsma 6], Frings 6.5, Dunfield 6.5, Avila 6 [deGoo N/A] Koevermans 6.5 [Silva N/A], Johnson 6.5


  1. A song that didn't quite make it beyond a few rows:
    Eckersley and Emory live together in perfect harmony,
    Side by side in central defence, oh Lord, Why don't we...

    1. Oh my! Kudos to whatever section that emerged from. Love that one - hope you don't mind us using that in a future "CHANTS ON GOAL" feature. Too good not to share!

      Seriously, they need to create a section where people can do new songs every match that you haven't heard for 6 years. We want the front row.

      Cheers and very well played!