THE MATCHUP: Rapidly Seeking Strikers

Are either of you a "fox in the box"?



TORONTO VS. COLORADO
　
BMO FIELD - WEDNESDAY 7PM ET
TV: SPORTSNET ONTARIO/ONE ----RADIO: THE FAN 590
　
THE KICKABOUT:
It's entirely up to you whether you choose to blame the current management team, the previous one or whatever Pagans used to sacrifice virgins on the site of BMO Field. No matter who is at fault for TFC's striker crisis - after Danny Koevermans was ruled out for the season - it's a giant mess. Through some very poor team building/roster management, TFC is currently left with a choice of Ryan Johnson (off of failure to hit sides of barns), Andrew Wiedeman (off of nine games in MLS) and Keith Makubuya (off of soon to be in CSL) as their strike options. Crickets.
　
Even before Koef's untimely injury, the forward role had little depth - especially evident after the dismissal of Joao Plata and Nick Soolsma. This flew under the radar of course because of the even worse crisis on the defensive line and the torrid scoring of Koevermans. Now that there is a mess on two fronts, some very tough transfer decisions need to be made by Mariner & Co. in order to keep TFC's heads above water. A chance then for Colorado Rapids who have yet to beat TFC at BMO Field to take advantage of a paper-thin attack unless someone on The Reds steps up and fills a very big void.
　
MANUFACTURED DERBY NAME: "El Cursico"
　
PLAYERS TO WATCH:
TORONTO: Torsten Frings, Ryan Johnson, Milos Kocic
COLORADO: Conor Casey, Omar Cummings, Martin Rivero
　
THE ODDS:
TFC's "striker crisis" solved by:
- Paul Mariner becoming player/manager: 50-1
- Tiny boots for "Bitchy the Hawk": 25-1
- TFC's "Dream Striker Job" competition winner: 2-1
　
WHO ARE YA?
Much like Bigfoot and Loch Ness, it is a scientific fact that BMO Field is a cursed place built above an ancient burial ground. The exact spot of past virgin sacrifice lies directly below where The Reds strikers roam which has in turn cast spells on TFC strikers with many a malady following:
DANNY KOEVERMANS: Torn ACL
DANNY DICHIO: Lower lumbar/Male pattern baldness
JEFF CUNNINGHAM: Severe sucking
ALI GERBA: Fat
MISTA: Narcolepsy
COLLIN SAMUEL: Fat
CHAD BARRETT: Chronic shanking
ANDREA LOMBARDO: Delayed Dufferin bus
　
POST-MATCH HEADLINE: "JOHNSON AND WIEDEMAN COLLIDE - EVIL LAKESHORE SPIRITS APPEASED"