THE STARTING 11: New TFC excuses

Coronal Mass Ejection! 1-0 Philadelphia.



If you listen to any Toronto FC home broadcasts or read any missive from official club releases you can be forgiven for thinking The Reds are the only MLS club to travel by plane or play in harsh weather. No matter who has been coaching, the make-up of the squad or the club's form, somehow six years of losses and awful performances (see here) are excused by "fatigue", "harsh conditions" and/or "a transition period". These are fine platitudes for broadcasters and journalists to trot out now and again but after more than half-a-decade, they are a bit played out. So, being our helpful selves, we offer up these new excuses for the rest of 2012's poor showings...

11. "Sudden Plata loss"

10. "Tightness in abs" (Adrian Cann only)

9. "ButtyGut"

8. "Bieber Fever"

7. "5-Year Planic attacks"

6. "Solar flares"

5. "Lathered. Rinsed. Forgot to repeat."

4. "The evils of gingivitis"

3. "The Summertime Blues" (There is no cure)

2. "Male-pattern badness"

1. "Rumoured losses pending official club announcement"