THE STARTING 11: Reasons for Eric Hassli's delayed arrival in Toronto

You should see Mariner's back tats!

You can forgive Toronto FC supporters for expecting a bit more of a dog-and-pony show around the capture of Eric Hassli. It was downright out of character for MLSE not to spend every waking second promoting the life out of a new marquee name... but it has all been relatively docile. After a late-week arrival in the city that began pushing Carlos Ruiz levels of patience, the big Frenchman gave a very basic presser before once again drifting into the club's background. Injuries and relocation are the most obvious reasons for the volatile new striker's delay but were there other factors involved?

11. Red carded during phone call to inform him of trade

10. Spent a full day trying to figure out where Toronto's mountains were located

9. Was on "the hunt" for TFC's new centreback

8. Red carded in cab on way to Vancouver airport

7. Had to wait for the perfect moment to fulfill life-long goal of punching Darren Mattocks in the back of the head

6. Had to deal with strange online messages from a "Koef14" challenging him to a Settlers of Catan showdown

5. Red carded during airport security screening

4. No one leaves a Bobby Lenarduzzi "Bon Voyage Bender" for at least three days

3. Getting a life-size tattoo of Paul Mariner's face on your back doesn't happen overnight!

2. Red carded during in-flight film

1. Was translating "If you can't beat 'em', join 'em" into French