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Friday, August 3, 2012

THE MATCHUP: No time for a Day Off

"Something -'Dea defending. Anyone? O'Dea defending"

CHICAGO VS. TORONTO
 
TOYOTA PARK - SATURDAY 8:30PM ET
TV: GOL TV RADIO: THE FAN 590
 
THE KICKABOUT:
While not exactly "on Fire", TFC have at least a 1-Alarm smoulder going on right now with 4 wins in their last 5 competitive matches. That being said, the club still borders on inconsistent and is more than capable of re-producing a stinker like their recent 2-0 loss to Houston. An away fixture at solid, playoff-contending rival Chicago gives Paul Mariner's men little room for error on the pitch.
 
With the big news in TFC-Land being the signing of Irish defender Darren O'Dea, the focus on Saturday night may well shift to another newcomer. After a protracted arrival, DP striker Eric Hassli should be ready to make his debut in red and his presence up front may indicate how TFC will fare for the rest of 2012. While TFC may not have grabbed "the bossman" in the back they originally wanted, Hassli must be the new "boss" up front if The Reds are to continue their stroll to respectability.
 
MANUFACTURED DERBY NAME: "The Sloane Peterson Challenge"
 
PLAYERS TO WATCH:
CHICAGO: Alvaro Fernandez, Sherjill MacDonald, Dominic Oduro
TORONTO: Eric Hassli, Reggie Lambe, Luis Silva
 
THE ODDS:
- Torsten Frings singing "Danke Schoen" in local parade: 2-1
- Team bus having to be driven backwards to the airport after leaving it with unscrupulous parking attendant: 10-1
- Paul Mariner asking for another big central defender - getting a computer instead: 20-1
 
WHO ARE YA?
Bridgeview, Illinois is a Chicago suburb and commuter village and home to Chicago Fire's Toyota Park. Founded in 1986 off of the strength of major local employer "Abe Froman's Chicago Sausage" factory, the town gained notoriety due to its rather lax truancy laws and lack of educational discipline. The area's economy was briefly helped by the Smoot-Hawley Tariff, which opened the international backyard trampoline market, but eventually fell victim to "Voo-Doo Economics". Present-day Bridgeview is now known as "The Random Midday Ethnic Parade Capital of America".
 
POST-MATCH HEADLINE: "OHHHHH! YEEEE-AH! (Mmm, bowp, bowp. Chick-Chick-ahhh!)"
 
And... Because it's Friday and this isn't a laughing matter...

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