"The Gents" with Stan Bentley - "Huzzah for seeking out Old Stan"

With Toronto FC well into their annual boycott of the MLS playoffs, fans of the club get a chance to take a breather and evaluate where their lives are after a long season. Of course in our stressful "modern era" things can sometimes get on top of us and we seek a wise voice to listen to. Many of you lean on friends and family in these times of need but what about those moments when you need someone outside of your inner circle?
　
Forget doctors, clergy or do-gooders - there is no more trusted a figure whom to seek advice from than a 1950's journeyman English footballer. Those of you who have visited The Yorkies for a while will remember our advice column "The Gents", where your questions and problems were answered by the lower divisions' mid-century midfield maestro Stan Bentley. Sadly, the column stopped abruptly before the 2012 TFC season as Stan informed all of a need to travel to "Rhodesia" under a cloud of possible offspring, eggy canines and Barnsley FC.
　
We thought "Old Stan" was lost to the White Nile and the sands of time... until we received the following telegram via autogyro with a Rhodesian postmark yesterday...
　
Dearest Commonwealth Colonials STOP

Huzzah for seeking out Old Stan Bentley STOP

Currently on steam locomotive traversing the Belgian Congo STOP

Had to leave Rhodesia sharpish STOP

There was this young lady's father you see STOP

Due to arrive in the Port of Alexandria in 4/8ths of a fort-night STOP

Alighting on steamship "Arabian Waterdonkey" STOP

Just saw a camel out the window STOP

One hump or two? Know what Old Stan would do STOP

Marvellous creatures STOP

Will return to Old Blighty via Folkestone STOP

Shall reply to all of your peccadilloes then STOP

Are Coventry City still top of the league? STOP

Yours gentlemanly, Stan Bentley STOP
　
So there we have it, the return of "The Gents with Stan Bentley" is imminent as are sagely answers to all of your problems, questions and comments whether they be general, personal or Toronto FC related. Send your questions for Stan in an email via theyorkies1812@gmail.com or simply leave a message in the comments section below and it may be featured in a future issue.
　
New to Stan's brand of gentlemanly advice? Just click on this "The Gents with Stan Bentley" link to revel in last year's wisdom.