THE STARTING 11: Subtitles for Toronto FC's 2012 highlight film

So empty... so erotic.

It's sad to think of a poor editor watching hours of tape chronicling TFC's disastrous 2012 season in order to splice together a pseudo-highlight reel. What to choose? Lingering shots of Terry Dunfield's sock tassels blowing in the summer breeze? Bitchy The Hawk giving her ladyplummage the once-over? Wiedeman? Sometimes it's all how you sell the video as seen in the zenith of subtitled movie names "Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo". If viewers are so excited by the title: or subtitle - they'll watch any old crap! (Coming Soon: "TFC 7: Electric Boogaloo") So, for that editor sitting alone in his suite on this New Year's Eve we offer these subtitles to help make 2012: Seem Less Crappy

11. 2012: No Payne, No Gain

10. 2012: FreiFall

9. 2012: Winter to Mariner - Contrasts in Ineptitude

8. 2012: The Hangover VI - Hot Escobar Nightz

7. 2012: The Hunt for the # 1 Draft Pick

6. 2012: The Five Year Plan II: The Plannening

5. 2012: The Expendables VI

4. 2012: 50 Shades of Empty Grey Section Seats

3. 2012: The Hobbit - An Unexpected Loan to LDU Quito

2. 2012: A Slightly Less Fistful of Dollars

1. 2012: Lose Hard With A Vengeance

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL OF OUR READERS!
THE ONLY WAY IS UP... RIGHT?