THE STARTING 11: Descriptions found on Toronto FC scouting reports/sexy singles ads

Seriously? Not one striker?

Even though "Family Day" is a day off for some - and Arkansas' sexiest holiday - there is no time for Toronto FC to relax. With only a couple of weeks left before the regular season, very big gaps remain - especially up front - yet the club only seems capable of finding a daily influx of semi-pro holding midfielders and defenders. In fairness, it must be daunting for any prospective striker to follow in the hallowed footsteps of poachers like Collin Samuel, Andrea Lombardo and Mista... but this is getting nutty. We're not saying it's time for TFC to start searching the classified ads or Craigslist for a new forward, but the key search words are really quite similar...

 

11. "Great first touch"

 

10. "Holding up the ball"

 

9. "Stockings/Sock tassels

 

8. "Squeaky-bum time"

 

7. "Joe Cannon"

 

6. "Ruining clean sheets"

 

5. "Looking 'almost exclusively south' for prospects"

 

4. "DP rules"

 

3. "Ok with pain/Ok with Payne"

 

2. "Box-to-box"

 

1. "Brazilian"