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Saturday, March 16, 2013

AFTER 90: Not so gouda

Smell that fine-aged One-Year Plan

MONTREAL VS. TORONTO
OLYMPIC STADIUM

FIRST HALF:
KICK OFF - The grande story of the day is of course the thousands of Rouges dans le Stade du Roof Crumblement. While NBC crows over a couple of hundred D.C. United fans who made it to New York, Torontonians en masse have invaded The Big O to propel new look TFC over their much-improved rival - The Cheesemakers. Is that a chorus of "You'll Never Provalone" we hear? Commencer!
2' - Great loud start from the decrepit stands of Olympic Stadium. TFC supporters in fine voice. Impact supporters in fine corporate sponsor noise-maker.
4' - Joe Bendik tips a close-range Marco Di Vaio strike to safety. Solid save.
10' - Reds on the back foot early. Scrappy in the midfield but disjointed in attack.
11' - An early gift for TFC as Montreal's legendary defender Alessandro Nesta leaves the match with an injury. Joey Saputo applies a cold mozzarella di bufala to his thigh. Probably.
20' - YELLOW CARD: Jeremy Hall for a slightly rambunctious tackle. Slightly. Hello to all of our readers in the Baldomero Toledo refereeing family. We feel your shame.
25' - In their new third kit you can squint and pretend this is a 1990 fixture between Inter Milan and Liverpool. Squint harder and you can pretend the stadium looks like 1976.
29' - Hogan Ephraim slides a pass across goal for Robert Earnshaw but it's broken by Jeb Brovsky at the last second. Fancy footwork by TFC.
34' - PENALTY: Dubious call as Ashtone Morgan bumps Andres Romero in the box. GOAL: as Patrice Bernier stutter-steps it past Joe Bendik. Merde.
MONTREAL 1 - TORONTO 0
38' - Dangerous runs and wing play seen against Sporting KC last week M.I.A. today. Also, most of the other good stuff as well.
45'+ - GOAL: Montreal - Reds' midfield then defence carved like a warm brie as Marco Di Vaio waltzes around Joe Bendik (or whatever dance Italians do) and doubles the lead.
MONTREAL 2 - TORONTO 0
45'+ - Mi-temps.

HALFTIME: MONTREAL 2 - TORONTO 0

SECOND HALF:
46' - Reds unchanged to start. Tactics need to be if they are to make something of this match.
50' - Toronto all 6's and 7's in attack. Unless you are counting shots on goal where they are more like 0's and 1's.
52' - Scramble in the Montreal box leads to Hogan Ephraim acrobatic attempt that rattles the crossbar.
53' - High pressure leads to another Toronto break - Earnshaw forces a fingertip save.
58' - Ad hoardings reveal that Pizza Pizza has a different "11-11" phone number in Montreal. Oh Quebec, you just have to be different don't you?
60' - SUB: Kyle Bekker on for Jeremy Hall
62' - Montreal fans amusing themselves with the wave. Ultras.
64' - SUB: Darel "The Roy G." Russell on for Ashtone Morgan
67' - PENALTY: Montreal defender Daniel "Scent of a Woman" Iapichino pulls Terry Dunfield down in the area. GOAL: Robert Earnshaw with his third of the year.
MONTREAL 2 - TORONTO 1
75' - Got the penalty and he is a lovely gent but Terry Dunfield having a shocker today.
84' - SUB: Jonathan Osorio on for Danny Califf
87' - Impact skillfully killing off the clock. Saputo skillfully putting together a cheese basket for Man of the Match.
90'+ - Big O scoreboard displays word "NOISE". Noise is made.

FULL TIME: MONTREAL 2- TORONTO 1

PLAYER RATINGS: Joe Bendik 6 / Richard Eckersley 6 / Danny Califf 5.5 (Jonathan Osorio N/A) / Darren O'Dea 5.5 / Ashtone Morgan 5 (Darel Russell 6) / Reggie Lambe 6.5 / Jeremy Hall 5.5 (Kyle Bekker 5.5) / Terry Dunfield 4.5 / Hogan Ephraim 6.5 / John Bostock 5.5 / Robert Earnshaw 6

THE YORKIES' TFC MAN OF THE MATCH:
Hogan Ephraim

THE BATH:
Yes there was some dodgy officiating and all of the goals could have been argued against in one form or another but Toronto FC did themselves no favours in front of thousands of travelling supporters. Bereft of attacking options, midfield control and flat-footed defensively, The Reds lacked the shape and tactical discipline seen in parts of their previous matches. A shame that the efforts of so many away supporters couldn't be rewarded.

With rumours of up to four new additions en route and some debuts yet to be made, we will hear (far) too much about how TFC is a work in progress between now and the next fixture but today was the first time this season that little progress was seen. While nowhere near the time for excessive hand-wringing and/or scarf-burning it was not a fun fixture. Worse still handing your derby rival an undefeated record while witnessing the difference between a One-Year Plan and successive Five-Year Plans.


1 comment:

  1. Generous rating for Bekker. As much as I like his potential as a linking holding mid (not as an AM or even a box to box mid), he stood out to me in two negative ways: lost too many 1 on 1 battles for the ball and his inadequate set piece delivery. A match to learn from.

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