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Monday, March 18, 2013

THE STARTING 11: Unexpected side-effects of Toronto FC's new plaid scarf

"I was into TFC before they were cool."

Many of you are sitting in your window like a Jack Russell waiting for the Purolator delivery dude to bring your TFC Season Ticket package right now. Sit Ubu supporter, sit. Good supporter. However, not only are your vouchers to a year of exciting somewhat palatable football in that tardy box but also a bold fashion choice. For our seventh season ticket holder scarf, TFC decided to step outside of the couture box and go with a hip lumberjack plaid design. Some will hate it ("It's not a football scarf!); others will love it ("It goes with my ironic moustache!") but what surprising circumstances await the unwitting hipster supporter?
11. Every time you grab your scarf, a bloodhound is asleep under it
10. Unofficial TFC anthem becomes "Plaid to the Bone"
9. The Scottish can't keep their hands off of you
8. Northern Ontario supporters now have extra formal dinner attire
7. Always expected to be the first to clean up household spills
6. Hunter-weary bears now steering clear of Exhibition Place
5. Guaranteed to get a seat for post-match drinks at trendy Ossington Ave. nightspots 

4. You totally look like a hot-shot when talking about maple syrup
3. Portland Timbers now consider us their most bitter rivals
2. Eddie Bauer's 2013 catalog is mostly random photos of BMO Field's south stand
1. Stadium security turn a blind eye if you bring an axe to a match

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