THE MATCHUP: New England Revolution host Old English Resolution (Now with 50% less John Bostock!)

Where ACL's fear to tread

NEW ENGLAND VS. TORONTO
　
GILLETTE STADIUM - SATURDAY 7:30PM ET
TV: THE SCORE
　
THE KICKABOUT:
"Pahk da cah in Hahvahd Yahd". With that out of the way it's onto a fixture that has dozens excited across North America and not beyond. The Revs, who if you believe people in Toronto, are apparently just as bad as Toronto FC (but 6 points says differently) welcome those very Eff Cees (TM) to play on their green concrete. With a solid 6,000 to 8,000 in attendance at the 68,000-seater Gillette Stadium, this is one not to miss. Unless you need to wash your hair.
　
FC Robins du Toronto will seemingly arrive in Foxborough in a hilarious giant clown ambulance. When Kevin Payne & The Boyz told us we are only 2 or 3 players away we didn't realize that meant from a Starting Injured XI. On the shelf for this match are: Richard Eckersley (hamstring), Bobby Convey (muscle strain), Danny Califf (tattoo), Stefan Frei (the usual), Justin Braun (shanking injury), Darel Russell (middle name fracture), Terry Dunfield (twisted sock tassel) and Danny Koevermans (pancake). So... about that winless streak.
　
MANUFACTURED DERBY NAME:
"The Worst a Man Can Gett'er"
　
PLAYERS TO WATCH:
NEW ENGLAND: Diego Fagundez, Lee Nguyen, Kelyn Rowe
TORONTO: Steven Caldwell, Robert Earnshaw, Darren O'Dea
　
THE ODDS:
- TFC getting through match without further injury: 10-1
- TFC blogger getting through preview without injury: 5-1
- Ouch! Mother f*^$%r!!! My finger!!! : EVENS
　
WHO ARE YA?
Being a single-entity league, MLS can sometimes come to the emergency aid of a club facing serious injury issues. Remember emergency keeper Sam Reynolds? Good times. With TFC's mounting injury list, the league has drawn up a resource which TFC can draw from if they face further medical dilemmas during the match on Saturday:
1) MLS Pool Players
2) Emergency NASL Loan Signings
3) Those guys with the muskets at Revs matches
4) A 50/50 Draw from the 3,000 Revs fans in attendance
5) The Somali Drug Lord Videographer of their choice
6) A Tupac Shakur hologram
7) Anyone who has heard of Queen's Park Rangers

POST-MATCH HEADLINE: "REVOLTING"

UPDATE: While the City of Toronto was watching their mayor give a press conference wearing a shit-eating grin, Toronto FC announced that they have waived on-loan midfielder John Bostock.

Bostock, the once teen-dream of English football is doing his best to become the new Rohan Ricketts by burning bridges everywhere he goes. Obviously the long-standing rumours that dogged him in England such as being a bad-trainer and having an ego which always saw him playing at Barcelona in his head but the Blue Square with his feet couldn't be shook on this side of the Atlantic.
　
　
And… Since it’s Friday and we could all do with a jaunty tune… and there used to be a band called Daft Punk that made music you could boogie to… and Revolution…