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Monday, July 29, 2013

THE STARTING 11: Argos to BMO BoGo!

"Come back tomorrow as Toronto FC host Columbus..." 
Editor's Note: The suddenly resurgent "Argonauts to BMO Field" story divides Toronto FC fans into two groups. The cynics who think that it is inevitable (Hi everybody!) and those who think it simply won't happen, or if it does - no big deal. Good morning to you there in Accounts Payable at a certain "major league" franchise. Wink.
To address both groups, your usual Monday morning dose of frivolity will be Buy One Get One Free today. After jumping in our IKEA ball pit of idiocy, we urge you to read Kurt Larson's article in today's Toronto Sun for some more clarity on the issue.
THE STARTING 11: Side effects of the Argos moving to BMO Field (Pessimists Remix)
 "What me worry?"
If it squawks like a hawk and is walked to midfield by a bored looking man like a hawk... it's probably a hawk. When Tim Leiweke and CFL Fetishist/ "Mayor" Rob Ford both suddenly started talking about stadiums within the same 20 minute period last week our ears pricked up. When local newspapers started talking about an Argos to BMO resurrection, the ears pricked higher. When Toronto Councilor Mark Grimes started ignorantly yapping about the need to move the Argos to BMO... prick. Both meanings. We are clear here at The Yorkies on our feelings... the day we are asked to watch football on CFL gridiron lines is the day we leave and don't come back. Apart from the absence of many, many "day one" supporters, what are other side effects of a CFL stadium share?
11. It will destroy TFC
10. It will destroy TFC
9. It will destroy TFC
8. It will destroy TFC
7. It will destroy TFC
6. It will destroy TFC
5. It will destroy TFC
4. It will destroy TFC
3. It will destroy TFC
2. It will destroy TFC
1. It will destroy TFC
THE STARTING 11: Side effects of the Argos moving to BMO ("It Won't Happen" Optimists EP)
Bo Knows Lambe

We know many of you equate our opinions on this issue somewhere between Bigfoot hunters and Globster aficionados. Fair enough - we truly hope you are right. We have heard the arguments: poured concrete, pitch issues, no city money available etc. Whatever. Next you'll tell us Loch Ness isn't real too. Anyhoo... there are some bright sides to the possible gridiron assault. Like so...
11. Maurice Edu will receive a financial windfall when TFC is forced to get refund on grass and reinstall turf
10. Just a few more adjustments and the Blue Jays can move in too!
9. Terrible TFC signings conveniently "lost" in giant field divots created by 300 lb. linebackers
8. Finally, Reggie Lambe gets a chance to become the"MLS/CFL Bo Jackson"
7. MLSE management gets a shot at an Academy Award for their role as "unwitting victim of circumstance despite reaping financial rewards of added home dates"
6. The exciting Buffalo Bills vs. Toronto FC Series
5. Handy replacement as Bob O'Billovich succeeds Ryan Nelsen
4. The move would bring the Argos slightly closer to the geographic base of their support... Barrie, Ontario
3. Argos fans can survive the inevitable monsoon rainstorms by breathing through their plastic blowhorns
2. TFC night fixtures go "green" as Pinball Clemons' teeth used to light the stadium
1. Rob Ford vs. David Miller Foxy Boxing

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