THE MATCHUP: The Ghost of BMO Future

"Arrrr-goooo... I mean Paaaa-triooooots!"

 

NEW ENGLAND VS. TORONTO

 

GILLETTE STADIUM - SUNDAY 7:30PM ET

TV: SPORTSNET 360 (The Artist formerly known as The Score)

THE KICKABOUT:

We didn't really want to bang on more about the "Argos to BMO Field" rumblings that have re-animated recently - like the zombie issue it is - but this fixture is just too appropriate.

 

If in their "wisdom", MLSE enters into any kind of deal with the gridiron devil and tries to tell you that TFC and the Argos can live side-by-side, take a gander at New England Revolution. They are a "sakker team" that doesn't so much share a multi-use stadium but rather occasionally squat in a NFL stadium. While Gillette Stadium ("The Blurst a Man Can Get") is a behemoth that BMO will never be - a plastic pitch adorned with scrubbed yet visible gridiron lines, awful sightlines and an empty stadium, apart from a tiny handful of hardcore supporters and assembled sakker parents accompanying kids' teams, is more than possible for a CFL-reconstructed BMO of the future. Not that MLSE in their "Roma will be a sell-out!!" knowledge would admit it.

 

On the pitch, this one has all the hallmarks of an uggo fixture. The Revs will try to extend their 2-match winning streak while the yet-to-be reinforced-with-any-real-signings Reds (sorry Uncle Elmer and Cousin Rey) will try to escape with everyone's ACL intact. The Revs sit in a surprisingly lofty 5th in the East while TFC sits in waiting for 2014.

 

MANUFACTURED DERBY NAME:

"The Tea Eff Cee Party"

 

PLAYERS TO WATCH:

NEW ENGLAND: Diego Fagundez, Andrew Farrell, Jose Goncalves

TORONTO: Bobby Convey, Matias Laba, Jonathan Osorio

THE ODDS:

- TFC "pahkin' tha bus in Harvahd Yahd": 10-1

- Match being a "wicked piss-ah": 5-1

- TFC playing "hahf-ahst": 2-1

WHO ARE YA?

While the thousands upon thousands of empty seats at every Revs' home fixture are the butt of many a MLS joke, TFC management need not worry about the possibility of the same occurring at BMO Field and effecting finances. In fact, Gillette Stadium officials have found a way of maximizing revenue by renting out whole sections to other organizations during Rev's matches.

Taking a look at Sunday's stadium schedule, the following sections will be out of bounds for soccer fans:

SECTION(S) 312-314: "Irish-American Bare-Knuckle Boxing Regionals"

SECTION 139: A giant vat of clam chowder being prepared

SECTION(S) 334-337: The Foxborough Community Theatre Players presents: "Our (Wicked Awesome) Town"

SECTION 124: Emergency extended-Wahlberg housing

SECTION 218: "Make fun of pansy-assed soccer"

SECTION(S) 324-328: Open-air screening of "Good Will Hunting"

SECTION 215: Casey Affleck autograph session

POST-MATCH HEADLINE: "REDS WICKED AWFUL"


And... since it's Friday... here's our best Boston accent...