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Monday, August 26, 2013

THE STARTING 11: Toronto FC-related CNE Attractions

"Hawk! 11 O'clock! ABORT! ABORT!"
For those of you who have been reading this site for the last few years... A) Thank you. B) Seek immediate medical assistance. C) You have been expecting this Starting 11.

It is once again that time of year when ice cream and waffles join in an unholy alliance; men's leather belts are half-price; Def Leppard mirrors have been shined to perfection; and, some of North America's horniest carny-folk are hitting on your sister. Yes it's the Canadian National Exhibition - Toronto's venerable lakeshore salmonella symposium! As usual, we couldn't let the fair pass without letting visitors know that one of the Exhibition Ground's permanent tenants - Major League Soccer anti-playoff activists Toronto FC - have their own set of exciting attractions...

11. The Better Living Next Year Building

10. Reds' midfielder Michael Thomas wanders through the crowd with complete anonymity

9. Watch Danny Koevermans complete his re-hab in the Food Building! (5 Times Daily)

8. TFC Transfer Window ride "The Bi-Polar Express"

7. "The Get Used To It'... 2-hour line-up to nowhere in particular

6. "The Jeremy Hall of Mirrors"

5. "Motherz Talk" Tim Leiweke & Kevin Payne perform the hits of Tears For Fears

4. AIR SHOW EXCLUSIVE! Bitchy the Hawk vs. The Snowbirds

3. The "Guess Your Age, Weight or Allocation Game"

2. Collin Samuel personally "disposes" of your tainted Cronut Burger

1. "The President's Choice Superdogs" vs. AS Roma

Now this is a "vocal minority" we can get behind!

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