THE MATCHUP: In a state at the Union

Mayor of Chester, Pennsylvania - the Honorable Paulie Pennino

 

PHILADELPHIA VS. TORONTO
　

PPL PARK - SATURDAY 7:30 PM ET

TV: TSN2

 

THE KICKABOUT:

Successful MLS Expansion club? CHECK

Intimate waterfront stadium? CHECK

Rabid supporters? CHECK

In the midst of exciting October playoff race? CHECK

Toronto FC? CHECK

 

As if to poke Toronto supporters gently and repeatedly in the eyeball, The Reds are off to the suburb of Brotherly Love to face a club that is in a position that TFC should be in. At the very least. The fourth-year Union have had success; have had hard times; have bounced back-and-forth in true MLS fashion.

 

Toronto FC promise next year will be different? CHECK

Next year will not be different? CHECK

MANUFACTURED DERBY NAME:

"The Union Movement"

PLAYERS TO WATCH:

PHILADELPHIA: Conor Casey, Zac MacMath, Jack McInerney,

TORONTO: Joe Bendik, Steven Caldwell, Bright Dike

THE ODDS:

TFC impersonating the following Philly legends:

- Rocky's Uncle Paulie drunk with allocation cash: 50-1

- The Fresh Prince getting in one little fight: 25-1

- A cheesesteak falling behind a couch and being forgotten for seven years: 2-1

 

WHO ARE YA?



One of the best things about waking up in Philly on a Saturday morn is getting to catch the latest episode of local kid's TV favourite "Jack, Mack & Ernie". Here's a preview of this week's show!

JACK: Today's show is brought to us by the number 8 and the letters D, P and L!!!
MACK: What can we spell with D and P guys?
ERNIE: Double puppet penet-
JACK: Shut up Ernie you filth monger!
MACK: I heard that D is for Designated and P is for Players!
JACK: That's right gang! And 8 is for finally getting it right after 8 years!
ERNIE: Should see what I 8 last night.
MACK: Huh? What?
ERNIE: Yo mamma.
JACK: Ernie! Language!
MACK: (Crying gently) What's the L for?
JACK: L is for Lying about DP's fixing things after 8 years which makes the Baby Jesus cry.
ERNIE: Should have stuck with my DP idea.

MACK: (Sobbing) I don't even know what that means!

ERNIE: Ask your mom to show you the video from last night.

MACK: WAAAAAA!!!

JACK: I f*cking quit.

POST-MATCH HEADLINE: "ZOLOS THUMP BOZOS"

And... Since "Jack, Mack & Ernie" have been put on emergency hiatus, here is a video of their cousins from down the street singing a nice children's song...