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Tuesday, May 13, 2014

THE MATCHUP: We've got legs... Will we know how to use them?

"BC Place? Yeah just up on the right..."
 
VANCOUVER VS. TORONTO
CANADIAN CHAMPIONSHIP SEMIFINAL 2ND LEG
(1-2 AGGREGATE)
BC PLACE - WEDNESDAY 10:30PM ET
TV: SPORTSNET ONE

WHY SHOULD I WATCH THIS?
- Don't you love Canada? Or are you a Communist?
- Will Ryan Nelsen roll the dice for a cup victory with a league fixture on the weekend?
- What wacky disaster will prevent Whitecaps from winning this year's competition?
- Will Carl Robinson really stick with his youth movement even though a 1-0 victory would see Whitecaps advance?
- Who is more Canadian - a Kiwi or a Welshman?!
- Will the USA watch in horror as Bradley goes full out on turf?
- Can lightning strike through the roof of BC Place?

MANUFACTURED DERBY NAME:
"The Great Canadian Bagel Derby" (NutCan Edition)

THE DUEL:
Their Canadians vs. Our Canadians

WHO ARE YA?
Vancouver Whitecaps are so weary of another natural disaster getting in the way of their cup run that they are working with a local company to prevent any mishaps. Despite BC Place being mostly enclosed, Whitecaps have called upon Vancouver-based yoga wear/backside accentuators Lululemon to help protect the stadium.

Lululemon has a factory full of unusable stretchy material from their "see through pants" crisis of last year which will be donated to VWFC to form a tight and sexy new tarp for the stadium in time for this match. To avoid blushes, the upper deck has been asked not to bend over in the light.
 

"Storms a brewin'"
 
ON THIS DAY IN TFC HISTORY:
MAY 15, 2011: In an act of sportsmanship, TFC faxed a 10-day weather forecast to Whitecaps manager Teitur Thordarson showing nothing but clear skies predicted for the Toronto region.



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