THE MATCHUP: Night Caps

An evening with Carl...

 

TORONTO VS. VANCOUVER
BMO FIELD - WEDNESDAY 8PM ET
TV: TSN

MANUFACTURED DERBY NAME:
"The Great Canadian Bagel"

MATCH FACTS* & STATS**
TORONTO FC
- Despite being third in the Eastern Conference, TFC have an alarming 35 games in hand over 2nd place Sporting Kansas City.
- Dominic Oduro averaging 8.7 slices of pepperoni pizza a week since move from Columbus, down from 2013.
- Ryan Nelsen is five wins from becoming TFC's all-time winningest manager. No, really.
- Gilberto has the same number of goals in his last two appearances as his national side of Brazil does. Prolific.
- Jermain Defoe leads the league in touches. Mostly bum and boob.
- The Reds are 7-5-2 all-time during night matches where the temperature is above 25 degrees Celsius and the other team has a manager with a strange hairline.
- It is Micronesian Heritage Night in one row of BMO Field this Wednesday.

VANCOUVER WHITECAPS FC
- Vancouver is coming into Toronto off of a home loss to Chivas USA. Just let that one sink in for a moment.
- Carl Robinson has a pre-match ritual vs. TFC which includes both smirking and snorting in Jim Brennan's direction.
- Despite lack of concrete proof, it has been accepted that Caps midfielder Pedro Morales is NOT the same Pedro Morales from 1980's WWF wrestling. Disappointing.
- Darren Mattocks currently leads MLS in "Looking Like an Effeminate Version of Predator", a category he has dominated since 2012. Reliable.
- More than 50% of Matias Laba's completed passes still legally belong to TFC.
- "Lenarduzzi'd" has been added to the 2015 Webster's Dictionary.
- 43% of Caps supporters will be high by the 20th minute.

*Maybe
**Possibly