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Monday, July 14, 2014

THE STARTING 11: Signs that you are already suffering World Cup withdrawal

That could totally work on the TTC
It's over! We thought it was something special but you just got up and packed your bags. Well... it was a great month... we'll always have Rio. Yes, the FIFA travelling road show/circus of corruption that is the World Cup has torn down their gold and diamond-encrusted tents leaving us waiting for four long years and a reunion in Russia. Breaking up is always hard to do though and here are some tell-tale signs that you aren't handling the lack of World Cup action well...

11. You refer to spending hours getting drunk in a pub as a "mandatory cooling break"

10. Preparing to switch your nether region grooming from a "Brazilian" to whatever a "Russian" may be

9. Angering your girlfriend by constantly trying to get her to wear really tight Colombian kits

8. Your Facebook status is: "Questionable (Groin)"

7. You invite a confused elderly man over for dinner just to remind you of Roy Hodgson

6. Your friends all roll their eyes behind your back when you pretend to suddenly know everything about the country of Costa Rica

5. You spray paint your loafers gold just to give yourself a sense of achievement

4. You keep getting kicked out of Starbucks for biting the person in line ahead of you

3. Keep trying to get extra space on the subway by putting a line of shaving cream down in front of you

2. You got fired for constantly asking co-workers to swap shirts with you at the end of the work day

1. You added an umlaut to your name

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